The Blightspawn Noble

Chapter 18

                                                                         Chapter 18

Magarie appears to be in a foul mood this day. Lawrence could see it in her eyes the moment she stepped into his office.

Magarie rarely came in a good mood. She is very defensive. He seems to be the one she comes closest to trusting, and now magistrate Kisan may have broken that trust.

"Are you upset over the magistrate's, lets say, ill advised snooping into our last session together?" Lawrence asks.

"You know how to pick the sweetest words for everything, don't you?" Magarie asks.

"As I assured you before, I went to the superior magistrate, and she will do her part to ensure that does not happen again." Lawrence says.

Not that he expects Magarie to fully trust him. He cannot blame her for that. Its hard enough to get Magarie to open up about anything. Having a magistrate spying on one of his sessions and then reading aloud something she said is a direct violation of every ethical standard in his line of work. He's reported the incident, but he can't be sure anything will be done about it.

"Is there anything you wish to talk about?" Lawrence asks.

"No." Magarie says.

"What about a recent incident in your archery class?" he asks.

"Why not just say my class? Its the only one I take." Magarie says.

"None the less, a class mate of yours slapped you in the face. You went outside to meet this student, and did not come back. I must say, it shows a level of great restraint on your part not to have responded in kind." Lawrence says, offering a comforting smile.

"A slap is nothing to me. Go ahead, punch me right in the face, right here." Magarie says, tapping on her nose. "It'll heal right up."

"I will take your word for that. Never the less, I would like to ask, silly as it may sound, how you felt in that moment?" he asks.

A very silly question, but it is important to give her a place to air her feelings, no matter how obvious they may be. Given her situation, it is unlikely she has anyone else to speak about this at all with.

"That if I punched her in return, there were at least fifteen other people in that room to pounce on me." Magarie says.

"You believe they would attack you?"

"Yes."

"Is that the only reason?"

"I don't want to be vulnerable in front of them again." Magarie says.

"Are you speaking of the, altercation you have with a class mate a year ago?" Lawrence asks.

"and what does that have to do with anything?" Magarie asks, her eyes flaring.

"I did not mean to offend. My point was, that you started fighting physically, and only resorted to using fire at that moment. It is a curious case. One normally fears vulnerability because they associate it with harm. You have taken this fear to such a point that you would rather accept harm than vulnerability." Lawrence says.

"The demon in me." Magarie says.

"No, it is not that unusual. Have you heard of phobic generalization?" Lawrence asks.

"No."

"It is when you have a fear of something, and you thus become fearful of anything that reminds you of or associated with it. Vulnerability is associated with harm, as I said before. Taking it a step further, harm can have...odd as this sounds, may have certain, how to put this, 'rewards' that vulnerabilty does not in your mind." he says.