My Blood, Your Bones - Phan

Chapter 7 - A Friend

Dan's POV

Phil's hand felt cold and boney over mine. I looked up at him, bug eyed as he told me to stop.

"Don't do that," he said. "It's not your fault either."

He had never been so close to me before. I saw the lines that defined his ribs exposed through his shirt. His belly caved in. His arms were so thin. I saw how pale he was. He had much bigger things to be worrying about, but he is here, stopping me from scratching my cuts. I relaxed my hand under his. It was silent.

He let go of me, and sat back. "Long sleeves in the warmer months don't go under well with someone who's lived in a rehabilitation center for over a year," he reminded me.

I still couldn't speak. I looked down at my arms, covered by the fabric, thinking of something to say. I was still in shock. "Have you... eaten today?"

He looked away. "Would you be upset if I told you no?"

"No."

"Then no, I haven't."

I looked at my phone. "It's almost four," I said.

"What time did you wake up this morning?"

"I get up early."

"It's been hours."

"I had energy. I ate yesterday."

"That doesn't mean you don't have to eat today."

He kept his eyes off me.

"Phil," I said slowly, trying to come closer to him. "Be honest. What is it that prevents you from eating?"

He didn't answer immediately. I patiently gave him time. "I don't see food," he explained. "I see fat, and names. I see myself getting heavy. I just... I've grown afraid of getting fat."

"Oh come on now," I said in a friendly way. "You wont be fat if you eat a little something here and there. You'll gain muscle, and you'll have energy. With energy, you're able to eat more and gain less."

"No," he declared. "You get fat. That's how you're viewed."

"I took AP biology. Food is good for you. And if you eat right, you can still have very little body fat. Why do other people's opinions matter so much anyway?"

He began to think. "I never had anything but friends. My parents never cared, really. If I wasn't liked by others... I guess I didn't have anything."

He wasn't afraid of gaining weight. He wasn't afraid of food. Phil was worried about being alone forever. He didn't have anything, and nobody to care about him. My heart sank. If he had at least one friend, he might not have turned out this way. "Didn't... didn't you have any friends?"

"For a while. They tried to help me eat, but since my body began rejecting food, I began to have to throw up meals if they seemed like too much. My few friends slowly left once they found out I was the weird kid who purged."

My eyes searched him sadly, my mouth left slightly open.

Beth knocked on the door. "May I come in?" she called.

"Enough about me," Phil said to me, before allowing her entrance. He flicked his black hair to the side.

"Are we thinking about lunch, maybe? I know it's a bit late but I was hoping you might be a bit hungry?"

It seemed like his natural reaction was to turn her away. He turned to me. "Are you hungry, Dan?"

Maybe I could do something. "Sure," I answered.

"We'll take something."

"Oh, good! I'll be right back." She quickly left.

"She'll be back," he said. "Beth's gotta be one of the nicest people here."

She returned with two sandwiches on a tray. One had a glass of water and multiple pills on the side. Quick service, for a place like this. "I had the chef make two, one for you, Dan. Enjoy your stay." Beth placed them on the table, and left. She had hopefulness in her eyes.

I looked at the food. It seemed fine, but I wasn't about to wolf it down. Phil took the pills and swallowed them with water, and finished the glass greedily. I could see how desperate his body was for something. He uneasily sat across from me at the table.

I picked up my sandwich, hoping he would do the same.

"Why don't you tell me about you now, Dan?" he asked, trying to avoid the food.

"We should eat," I said pleadingly.

He looked sad and scared.

"You aren't going to gain anything from a little sandwich," I said reassuringly. "Just do it because it tastes good. Treat yourself." I took a bite. It was well made, and actually tasted pretty good, though I wasn't too sure of all of the ingredients.

Phil wrapped one arm around his skinny waist. "I can't. I had something yesterday," he tried to convince himself.

"But not today. It's not enough."

"It's worked before."

"It's healthy for yourself. Just one bite? For me?"

For me. I wasn't so sure why I turned it to myself. It didn't seem like he'd do it for anybody. Bad call. To my surprise, Phil picked up the meal, and took one bite, chewing and swallowing quickly. I smiled uncontrollably, somehow feeling so proud of him. He didn't look as happy, but put on a small smile.

"It's good," he said.

I nodded, and continued on mine.

Phil's POV

My stomach felt like a rock, even after one bite of a sandwich. But Dan seemed happy I did it. He didn't beg me to eat. He didn't force me. He just tried to show me the good sides. I used to love to eat. Now food is a blockade for everything else.

"Can you tell me about you now? Please?"

He nodded. "I guess that's fair," he said, cleaning his mouth. He told me that when his mother died, his father turned to the drink, and was out often and never cared for him. Dan became incredibly sad and hopeless, and ending up cutting himself a few times. Then a lot more. He said he liked the sensation. His teacher found out and sent him to the meeting out of concern, but he didn't get anything from it.

"I'm sorry about your mother," I said. "When did she...?"

"Almost one year ago. A few weeks after my graduation, and it will be a year."

I nodded, and found myself with food in my mouth. I was... eating? On my own? I wasn't going to spit it out in front of him, so I swallowed. I didn't want to - I didn't even notice!

He grinned. "Isn't it good?"

I tried to smile. "Yeah."

Dan checked his phone, and noticed it was getting late. He stood up, and said he'd best be leaving. He walked around and put his arms around me for a hug. I was a bit in shock, but hugged him back. He was warm, sincere, caring.

"I'm proud of you," he said. "I hope you're able to finish it today." He let go of me. "See you tomorrow?"

I hadn't entirely expected that, but I nodded happily. "Yes! Definitely!" As he left, my heart fluttered. I had a friend! A real friend, who cared about me! I turned back to the sandwich left for me to eat, contemplating if I should finish it or not.