My Blood, Your Bones - Phan

Chapter 18 - Finally, It Felt Right

Dan's POV

That same terrible night, the rehab center pounded on my door, ripping Phil away from me and asking if I was alright. I didn't know the people who came and saw us, but though official, seemed kind. I told them my father was dead, and that I had no one but Phil left in my life. They asked if I was ok, and I told them my honest truth – no, I wasn't. I was better with my boyfriend under my arm, kissing me, telling me everything was ok. Reassuring me that there was a reason for life. They nodded at me, and offered to take me back to the rehab center to see him, and that they would handle the business with my dead father.

"So why did he run over here?" one of them asked.

I thought for a moment. Then I smiled wildly. "Because he loves me."

"You must be pretty lucky. We don't allow our patients to escape. We're all usually pretty good about that. And he knew it too. He put himself at risk, I hope you know."

"Yeah," I said. "I do."

Not packing anything, I walked myself over, but was forced to wait outside Phil's room in the hall. The door was closed, and I knew Beth was probably scolding him for leaving, but it was ok. She wouldn't hurt him. It used to be that she trusted me with her patient, now it's that I trust her with my love. Mutually, we were friends. I twiddled the two bracelets on my wrist, reading the names together quietly to myself: "Dan and Phil," I said. I loved the ring to it.

I thought about what Phil said when he kissed my arms. "It felt right." It was the same thing Mum told me to do – whatever felt right. I touched his name on the bracelet. I remembered how she said that "Once you know, you know for life." I was completely unsure of what she meant, but now, today, sitting and waiting to see him again, I guess I knew.

Phil's POV

She just stared at me with an angry, yet amused look, her fists on her narrow hips. She didn't say a thing.

"Uh, Beth?" I began. "I'm sorry for running away."

She was still quiet.

"I-It's just that I got so worried about him. I mean, any other night would have been fine. But tonight... it's a year after his mother died and he wanted to... Dan was going to kill himself."

Her expression didn't change.

"I wasn't going to let that happen. I mean, he saved my life basically. And I care about him, you know? I just...."

She rolled her eyes. "You can stop now, Phil. What makes you think I didn't know all of this?"

"What?"

"It's fine," she said, putting up her hands. "Believe me. I'm not mad at you."

"Really?"

"Oh, I'm not. My boss is going to be mad at me, but I can deal with that later. I know why you left, Phil. Honestly, I would have done the same thing if I loved someone as much as you love him."

Beth knew about us? Dan and I never kissed in front of her, or held hands or anything that I can recall. As far as I knew, just about no one ever saw us together. "How did you know?"

"You just do," she said. "And I've caught you stealing kisses and 'I love you's' every once in a while when you think I'm not there. Its not like you tried to hide it."

I felt myself smiling.

She smiled. "So tell me," she asked coyly. "What happened? Did you save him?"

"Well, not really. He said he wasn't going to do it. He just stayed home because he was too upset... and his dad committed suicide. But no, I didn't save him."

"I didn't ask just tonight," she laughed. "You saved him, period."

"No, he saved me."

"Why do you think so?"

"I don't know. He's just kind."

She smiled sweetly, and shook her head. "Now will you go to bed, please?"

"Ok. Goodnight, Beth."

She opened my door, about to leave, when a little surprise was left there. "Oh! Hello!" I tried to look over her to see who it was. "I assume you wanted to come in?"

"Yes, please," said a light, familiar voice. I smiled.

"Dan?"

Beth moved over and let him in, then closed the door behind her. Dan's face was still a bit red. "I wanted to come see you," he said. I opened my arms, and he ran into them. I wrapped him closely. He inhaled and shakily exhaled. "Thank you," he said.

I didn't respond. I only had enough left in me to bring his head closer to mine and kiss him. I touched the top of his hand, and he laced fingers with me.