The Undercover Rookie [A Bensler Fanfiction]

30

TW: overdose and suicidal thoughts

When Elliot got home, Olivia was still sleeping. He put Aiden in his bassinet and made another trip downstairs to grab the boxes of diapers. When he finally locked up the apartment for the night, Olivia walked from their bedroom with Aiden in her arms.

"Hi," she yawned.

"Hey, Liv," Elliot replied.

"Uh, thank you for going out to get diapers... And for dealing with my emotions," Olivia frowned.

"Liv-"

"I really do love and appreciate you. Even if things have been messy recently, I'm glad we have you," Olivia breathed. Elliot swallowed hard when he looked at Olivia and the tired smile on her lips.

"Olivia, I think you should make up with Serena and Steph," Elliot choked out.

"Elliot-"

"Seriously, Olivia. I have to tell you something, and I'm certain that you'll never want to be with me again. I am so sorry, and I hate myself for fucking you over once more. You are an amazing woman and-"

"Elliot, what happened?" Olivia whispered, as her heart started to pound hard in her chest.

"I saw Kathy at the store and she..." Elliot trailed off.

"She what?" 

"She's thirteen weeks pregnant with my baby."

Olivia tried to calm herself down, but she started to panic. She was terrified that Elliot would leave her once again and get back together with Kathy to help her with the baby. Then she'd be alone and trying to raise Aiden without help from anyone. Olivia burnt bridges, and now she'd be alone forever.

"Olivia, it's okay. Baby-"

"I just lost my mother and Stephanie, and now you?! Elliot-" Olivia interrupted.

"You aren't losing me, Olivia! No matter how scared I am about having two kids, I never once thought about wanting to leave you for Kathy. I love you more than I've loved anyone else! You and I are going to stay together because I refuse to lose you again over my stupid decisions!" Elliot exclaimed, as he quickly hugged Olivia and Aiden close.

///

Elliot slept on the couch that night because he felt like he fucked up, even if it was weeks ago. He couldn't stop thinking about how much pain Olivia had to be in right now, and he just added to it. Not only was he in pain, but he was angry at himself for allowing this to happen. 

"Hello?" Elliot asked when his phone buzzed in the middle of the night.

"Hey, El," Kathy replied softly.

"Is everything okay?" Elliot questioned as he sat up and tossed his blanket to the end of the couch.

"I can't sleep, so I decided to call you. Did you tell Olivia yet?" Kathy mused. Elliot frowned deeply as he scrubbed a hand down his face.

"She had a panic attack."

"Oh, El," Kathy breathed.

"Do you feel bad-"

"You told me she went into labor early because of stress. Now she's anxious because I'm pregnant with your baby. Elliot, do you even want to be involved?" Kathy asked. Elliot took a shaky breath and thought for a moment before nodding to himself.

"I want to be involved, Kathy. In the end, the three of us need to work together to make this work," Elliot spoke.

"Do you honestly think Olivia would want me around all the time?"

"She hates herself for what she and I did together while undercover. If it fixed things with you, I'm sure she'd be fine with it."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Kathy spoke again.

"I have another appointment in a few weeks if you want to join me," Kathy breathed.

"I'd love that, Kathy, but let me ask Olivia. She-"

"No need to explain, El. She's your girl, and I'm not anymore. I'll talk to you soon," Kathy interrupted before ending the call.

///

Olivia didn't know what to say to Elliot, so she kept her mouth shut and worked to take care of Aiden with as little help as possible. Weeks went by with few words being shared, and Elliot was getting worried about Olivia. He was especially worried when he got home from Kathy's sixteen-week appointment.

"Hey, baby. How are you? Where's Aiden?" Elliot asked as he walked into the living room. Olivia sat motionless on the sofa, her pajamas wrinkled and her hair a greasy mess.

Elliot walked in front of Olivia and noticed the cracks in her lips and dark circles under her eyes. He reached out and gently touched her chin before tilting her head up. Her eyes slowly moved to his face, but she didn't recognize who she was staring at.

"Olivia, are you okay?" Elliot asked again as he grew worried. Olivia swallowed hard as she closed her eyes tightly. Elliot quickly walked away from Olivia and into their bedroom. Aiden yawned loudly from his bassinet as Elliot moved into the bathroom. He noticed the mirror was open and two empty bottles sat on the counter.

Elliot ran from the bathroom as he called for an ambulance.

"911, what is your emergency?" A man's voice spoke as he answered Elliot's call.

"Uh, my girlfriend overdosed. I need an ambulance," Elliot replied, as he put the phone on speaker and shoved it into the front pocket of his shirt. He proceeded to lift Olivia to her feet and ran her into the bathroom in hopes of getting her to get sick.

"Is she breathing?" The man asked as he typed on his computer.

"She's awake, but not responding to me saying her name. I'm going to try to get her to throw up, but I can't promise it will work. I'm in the Aspen Building, apartment 5D," Elliot spoke, as he sat Olivia on the floor in front of the toilet before opening the lid.

"Do you know what she took?"

"A handful of my pain medication for my back and my medicine for my depression. Are you sending someone?" Elliot asked, starting to get annoyed with the man.

"An ambulance is on the way. Just stay on the line."