Commander Mind.

Chapter 10 : Feeling lost

"Having the sense of feeling wrong and also odd are not really something to enjoy about. Especially when you having this feeling just by yourself."

That word sometimes appear on Commander mind. It just feel wrong. Well..who wouldn't? Having to stuck on his own room without any interaction can be unhealthy. However..In his case, he still stable despite whatever happen to him.

Commander laying on the bed, he already awake. He didnt bother to get up at all. What happened yesterday was still stuck on him. Surely, everything that happen on him before was already crazy enough and yet he still sane.

Being a leader and also the one who need to deal your team. Have to deal with a lot of zombie, your enemy, need to come with strategy and have to carry your own team while also defend your place at the same time?

A person can go insane if they don't have a strong mentally for it.

However Commander manage to handle it. Despite having to get through this whole mess live. It kinda crazy how he manage to survive on this whole situation despise being a supporter on his own teams. Having no weapon and also no power is quite impossible for everyone to survive in this whole mess world.

Luckily for him, atleast he have his own weapon which is just pistol. It might dont do much damage but it can atleast defend him from anyone who try to attack him. He also got his own power. Well..he dont know if he should consider himself having power or no..he basically just boost everyone strength using his own power.

And thinking everything he have, he realise..he nothing much special after all.

Commander roll on his bed many time. Try to find a spot that can be comfortable. His body is tired but he can't sleep at all. Does it normal? He dont know and he sure he never feel this way before. Maybe this is the only first time he be through this.

"Why..can..I.. just..sleep..already.."
Commander question himself for it. He never felt this tiredness so much. He curse himself for not able to sleep at all. He keep laying on bed, hoping for himself to just fall asleep.

"I swear I have to make myself sleep already. I can't deal another trouble anymore."
He keep his eyes close many time for it. And yet it still don't work. His body refuse to get himself sleep. He groan in frustration.

"Oh you gonna be kidding me. You know what? Imma just give up and get myself out of this bed."
He then immediately get out of bed. He still feel tired but keeping himself laying on bed is not gonna do his favour at all. He then just go to the closet again, open it for it.

"Surely this drink maybe can help me start to sleep..."
He stare at the small fridge that still on his closet. He then open the small fridge and then take a can of drink.(which is just a water in can). He then just chug it all and throw it away across the room. Not like he care that his room gonna be mess anyway, he already live in this state of mess.

"Dammit it been quite..long now I be stuck in this room. And yet, no one try to search me??.. I can't just stuck like this forever. Surely I need to get out now.".

He then look around his room, trying to find something that he can use to escape. Surely, he can't use the phone consider he can't call anyone at all. He can't also open the door, that door can't even break no matter how many time he try to break it. He then sighed in defeat as he realise there nothing he can do at all.

"This place dont have something to use to break, how am I supposed to get out now..??"

He then just stand there, looking around. Hoping for atleast..something..something that he can use to get out this place. He cant just stay here, he can't just pretend everything will be fine for him. He just lay against the wall. Try to calm himself but it didn't work.

"I need to get out. I need to find a way out. I can't just stay here.. This whole thing didn't make sense.. Everything didn't make any sense.. the dream I have..it could be something..the dream something can be real right...?...RIGHT..?!.."

He clearly in distress now. He clenching his head for it. Talking himself and try to make sense around him.

"Cmon Commander, there no time for you to be this insane already. You already through this alot and yet you can't even handle when you alone in here...Cmon, Commander, you supposed to be the leader! You supposed to be-..."

"Strong..and..Smart..and.."

"And..I.."

"I.."

He lost his word for it.

The realization hit him when he realise that he actually alone and there no one can save him from it. If his teams are here, surely they will save him right? That what Commander thought about it.

And yet no one even try to come or help him.

He think to himself again, does the dream he having is actually real? Even if the dream is fake, it can be happen for it. Does his dream have the meaning behind for it. What if there something that he didn't realise about it?

God, he feel so much lost and confused now. Everything happen too fast.

Commander then slowly start to sit on floor while lay against the wall. He is tired. This whole thing just make him more tired. He can't just end up like this. He can't give up yet. That not how the leader supposed to be act.

Or maybe he just doesn't feel like he the leader for it.

Maybe that why he feel like he about to give up now.

Commander know he can't be useful to everyone sometimes but he want to be helpful as possible for them.

But..
.
.
.
.
.
Does everyone even care on him? That the question he often ask himself. If they care, surely they will try to find him right?

"God..I feel so lost now..I just want to go sleep already.."

He sighed for a bit. He sit there, trying to process everything. He then just lay on the floor. His body is already tired. He dont have any energy to continue now. He just close his eyes, hoping he can just sleep.. sleeping through all the pain he feel right now..

And hoping everything that he been through is just a long dream.

Just a dream..

Word count : 1136 words