Song is Everything i wanted by Billie Eilish!
Taylor's POV
Today felt absolutely horrible. My anxiety was peaking and every small thing seemed to trigger me somehow.
Thankfully, he was there.
Travis.
No matter where in the house we were, no matter what he was doing before, be it cleaning a shelf or making himself the 3rd peanut butter and jelly sandwich that day, he would always slowly bring me to the ground, letting me sit across him or beside him, knowing physical contact could makw it worse.
He just let me go to him in my own time. And I always did. I would lie on him shoulder or place my head on his lap, and he would sit there, letting me recover. He knew interferring would make things worse, so he didn't. Instead, he would focus on the one thing that grounded me.
He would brush his hands through my hair as I steadied my breathing, bit by bit.
All I wanted that day was to curl up into a ball and sit next to him while I felt his hands comb through my hair delicately.
Of course, as always, the universe was out to get me.
I had made plans with Blake and Ryan to go on a double date.
I loved them, and they were a big help when it came to anything to do with mental health, but going out always had complications.
And of course, the biggest complication of all: paparazzi.
When my anxiety peaked, the last thing I wanted to deal with were bright lights flashing in my face while people yelled at me in all directions. So fun!
The added factor of everything was things became brighter, louder, so deafening that all I would want to do is curl up into a ball and cry.
Instead, I had to get dressed and be presentable or whatever. Yuck.
I decided to bring back the little braid, since it was simple and anout time I brought it back.
I saw Trav waiting for me. The moment his eyes were set, his jaw dropped. Like actually, straight out of a movie kind of jaw dropped.
"Holy shit Taylor, you look..." He struggled to find the words.
"Phenomenal." He finally said. "There's no word alone that can capture everything but phenomenal felt the most suitable."
I smiled. "Thank you for saying that!" I said.
"C'mon, let's go baby."
The moment we left the house, I could see the flashing lights of cameras even through the tinted windows. I curled up into Trav. I felt his hand move off my shoulder as he just let me calm down. He whispered sweet nothings while I tried to breathe, trying to ground myself.
I felt his hand on my thigh. Normally, I hated when people touched me when I was panicking this way. It made me feel trapped. But with Trav something was different.
It was like his hand was an anchor, holding me down to the ground. My breathing leveled, and he slowly let go. "You okay?" He asked, rubbing small circles on my back.
I nodded. "Thank you." I said.
The moment we stepped out the car to go though, I nearly lost myself again.
The lights were just as bright, if not worse and I felt myself slip a little. But he squeezed my hand, and I forced a smile before slipping into the restaurant.
Normally, by this point, I would be spiralling. Everything would be off and I would be completely disoriented. But Trav placed his free hand on the small of my back, and I focused on breathing and making it to the table.
When we reached, Trav whispered in my ear, "For as long as I am around you, no one can hurt you in any way."
His hand stayed firmly on my knee, making sure I was alright. Blake and Ryan being my "New York parents", noticed what was up immediately, and made sure to check in with me every once in a while.
For the first time, I felt like I could ignore all of my problems. I felt safe, protected. That was when I realised something both terrifying and beautiful. I trusted him. It made so much sense, but it just...felt too right. If he ever broke my heart, things would be worse because I believed he could be right.
But that was love, and love had many risks and leaps. This was one I was more than willing to take.
It would be fine, we'd be okay.
Forever.
• • •
I start school on January 2nd, so updates might not come as much, and might even stop comletely for a while.
But feel free to leave requests! >>>>
This is also very late but I procrastinated 😍
Love you guys :)
-YT xx
