Betting On A Boy // Hyunlix

Betrayal

Felix's POV:

I walked right out of the school and went home.

I didn't care about finishing school, I didn't care about going to work, I didn't care about anything anymore.

I've already had a lot of bad days in my lifetime. Now I can confidently say that this is one of them. I felt like if I didn't leave, something else was going to happen. And it's good to know I can't trust Jisung anymore either.

Did he get back together with Minho? After what he's done? That almost feels like a giant slap in the face to me. What Hyunjin and Minho did is unforgivable in my eyes, how is it not to him? To say I was mad was an understatement.

"Rosé!" I called out, thankful she was home.

"Felix, what's wrong?" She panicked, rushing towards me while I stood there in tears.

"This isn't fair." I cried into her shoulder. "What did I do to deserve this?" Her body became less tense once she realized what this was about. I felt bad for bringing it up for the hundredth time, but today was a little different. "I saw him today and we fought in the hallway."

"Why'd you fight? What happened?"

"He just wanted to talk, but I made a scene. Jisung tried to break it up until I brought up something about his sister so he screamed in my face." I sobbed, feeling terrible for what I had said. Hyunjin didn't even tell me about the situation from last year, Jisung did. As painful as this is, bringing up something related to family is a low blow. That's not like me at all, but it just slipped out.

"Why would he do that? What's wrong with his sister?"

"She killed herself last year." I started to panic, realizing how close we were to the date. I knew it was sometime in May, but I wasn't sure what day. Today is May 1st so it's getting close. I bet it hit even harder because of that.

"Felix, oh my god." She whispered, slightly disappointed in me. Obviously, we know how painful it is to lose someone.

"He found her body too." Rosé found our dad after he committed suicide. She's never really been the same since. Either it was because of the trauma or because she knew she had to step up and take care of me. But I wasn't going to let that happen. So now we take care of each other. "It's hard when I know he's been through so much. He's hurting so much more than he says, I know he is."

"But Felix, what about you? You're hurting too."

"Which is exactly why I'm doing this." Running back into his arms isn't an option as badly as I wish it was. I need to put myself first for once. "I can't go back to that." But I wanted to so badly. "Rosie, he told me he loved me today." It was haunting me. His words were like a knife to the chest. "I want him back." I cried as she held me tight. "But I know I can't. I miss him so much. I don't understand. Why me? I don't even know what parts were real and what was fake. What if he just told me he loved me because he thought I'd give in so he could just toy with me even more?"

"All you can do now is try to move on." She sighed, knowing that's not what I wanted to hear. I want someone to tell me to give him a second chance and explain why I should. I want to be proven wrong; that Hyunjin isn't some rotten soul. "Why don't you try and lay down for a while, okay?" I nodded, following her to my bedroom. I got underneath the covers and continued to cry, hiccuping every few seconds. I was a complete and utter mess. "I'm so sorry." Instead of answering, I pulled the blankets further up over my face. "It'll be okay. I know how strong you are."

She left the room after a few minutes. I told her to wake me up for work. As badly as I'd like to call out again, I can't risk it. I make just enough to pay the bills every month so I hope we'll be okay. I wonder if Hyunjin ever judged me for not having money like him. Who am I kidding? Of course he did. That's probably why he bought me all those clothes too. He couldn't stand to be around someone less fortunate than him. I must've been one giant joke to him from the start.

My phone started to buzz. I could only assume it was Jisung since I don't talk to anyone else.

Jisung
Did you leave school???

Felix
Yeah

Jisung
Can I come over after

Felix
Yeah we need to talk

Jisung
Okay

Jisung wouldn't have a lot of time if he wanted to catch me before I left for work. It was nice having Hyunjin drive me because I got to stay home a little longer. I miss being in the car with him. He would always put his hand on my thigh, giving me butterflies every time. Truthfully anything he did would give me that feeling. Whether it was him carrying me around in his arms or a small kiss, I'd be reminded of just how much I loved him.

"Hey." Jisung shyly greeted, too scared to sit on my bed.

"Why would you do that?" I wanted to get right to it. Why did it seem like he was suddenly on Hyunjin's side?

"I just thought you two should talk."

"That's not your choice to make. The timing was shit too. And why was Minho there?" I sat up to be more present in the conversation. He's anxious, I can tell.

"He came and talked to me the other day." He mumbled.

"And suddenly everything is just okay now?" I was completely baffled.

"He said what he wanted to say, I heard him out, and that's that." He shrugged. "He's not a bad person, he just did something stupid."

"Wow, so all is just magically forgiven then, huh? Is that how this works?"

"Minho isn't Hyunjin."

"Except it was Minho's idea."

"Listen, I know it's upsetting to see, but-"

"It's upsetting that you're allowing yourself to be manipulated. That's what's upsetting."

"Alright, so then what should I choose? Give him a second chance and see if he'll make things right? Or cry in my bed all day and be stubborn like you?"

"This is different," I mumbled, trying to keep my cool. I was highly offended by what he said, but I wasn't in the mood to shout again today.

"How?"

"Because I love Hyunjin."

"And I love Minho. It's really not different."

I laid back down, pulling the covers up to my nose. Jisung finally sat on my bed and started to rub my back in an attempt to comfort me.

"Why do you care so much if you don't even like Hyunjin?"

"Because although the situation was fucked up, how he felt about you was all real. He actually does love you."

"No, he doesn't." I shook my head, frustrated that he was suddenly defending Hyunjin. "This is exactly what I mean. Minho probably put a bunch of shit in your head. You're being ignorant and you're being manipulated."

I'm not willing to believe anyone at the moment. It's not being irrational, it's being cautious. Fine, Jisung can be with Minho and get hurt again. But I'd rather suffer through the pain than go back to the person who used me and shattered my heart into a million pieces regardless if I love them.

"You're so stubborn." He groaned, ready to give up.

"I'll think about it," I mumbled.

"Wait till you're a little bit more calm, then talk to him."

"I'll do it if you take me to work right now."

"Good."