Hope|| mattheo riddle

Part 15

 mattheo's pov

I'm an idiot.
Maria... Why the hell was she scared?
"I'm sorry, Maria, I'm sorry" I said and hugged her harder, feeling how she was shaking.
I tried to look into his eyes but he was looking down.
"Please look at me, I want to see your eyes, Maria..." I said, he raised his head and looked into my eyes.
"I didn't want to scare you, I just, you are very dear to me. Damn" I said I hated myself, I want to hit myself i just make her cry. because i am  fucking stupid.
Maria looked into my eyes and held my hands with her soft and tender hands.
"Look at me, Mattheo, it's okay," she said calmly. she looked at me with eyes full of trust.
"I'm sorry princess" I said once more and hugged her while caressing her soft pink cheek with one hand.

Maria's pov
He caresses my cheek, I can feel his heart beat and see how he disgusted himself because of me.
I don't know what to say, the pain in my heart memories...
I just fell into his arms
And the only thing I wanted to tell him was how much I loved him...
"Maria..." I heard his voice, he pulled me out of the hug and looked into my eyes
"I know you're afraid of something," he said
"I don't-ah" I said "No Maria, please tell me I can feel it"
"I know something happened, what happened to you that doesn't give you rest, that made you hurt  yourself" and took my hands
"I can see how you get scared when someone speaks loudly to you Maria"
"Okay..." I said looking down. Mattheo raised my head with his fingers and looked into his eyes, which were full of hope that he would help me and hear me, understand me.
I took a deep breath and said
"My father..." I closed my eyes because I felt a strong pain in my heart
Mattheo looked at me sadly, hugged me
"Maria... I'm here, you understand. Tell me and you won't keep everything in your heart anymore" I looked into his eyes, his arms were wrapped around me and I held him like that.
"He was not a good person, but he was a good magician, Marozo Lysenko, you may even know.
He was also an alcoholic, and a horrible manipulative father. We thought everyone was a happy and beautiful family. He was a monster, he kept screaming...
He was drinking and taking all his anger out on me.
When he came home drunk for no reason, he would beat me.
He is dead now but the memories are still alive in my head.
He died locked up in Azkaban and I locked him up because he almost killed me.
I am afraid because his death has affected me. In general, the day I let my father go to Azkaban, I was destroyed, I changed, I screamed, I didn't do anything, I just sat and was angry about everything, only music and stars calmed me down.
I don't want to be like him, Mattheo" I said and fell into his arms, Mattheo held me to breathe and told me that
"Never never, you are not like him. You are a kind, lovely and beautiful girl whose heart just died. No matter how much you hate a person, when he is your parent, you can't do anything, there is always something in your heart. I know because my father wasn't an angel either"
"You are my strong princess and to stay strong sometimes you have to break"
He said and kissed me on the cheek
"I love you Mattheo" It was the first love I said to him and his eyes lit up
"My love for you is bigger than the stars in the galaxy"
He said and it warmed my heart. What should I long for, what should I want more than to hear the words of my only love, how I am loved. I can't believe that it is possible for someone to love someone as much as I love him and he loves me.
You know what I don't want a better life I want this moment. If the past was not full of pain, the future would not be full of smiles, I know there will be more pain, but I am not afraid because I know that his love for me is greater than all the stars in the galaxy.

Letter from the author

This part of the book is very important to me

:)