Time: 12:08am
Hi. It's been a while. I don't think that's a good thing, I kinda just couldn't put the shit into words. Well, I moved schools, because we found out I most likely have a learning disorder that didn't go unnoticed, but was just ignored, and my school's response was basically just "Aw that's sad, well we can't do anything since you didn't tell us, despite not knowing, in year 7!" And basically just let me suffer and almost fail year 9 and 10, and actually fail year 11.
Also, as you can probably tell by the date and time, it's officially christmas. And I can't sleep. Like every other day of my god forsaken life. I mean at least I get to see my brother tomorrow? And, I get to stay with him over the weekend, so that's great, I guess...
I don't wanna sound ungrateful, because I'm not! I'm really happy and exited I get to see him! But also, I feel like every time I wanna play games with him, or do anything at all with him, I'm just being a nuisance and a bother. But, I also have no one else to go to, as even though half my friends do basically nothing all day, they never want to do anything. Yeah, one of them works and has a life, that's fine you're allowed that. You're also allowed to not want to drop everything to play minecrsft with someone. But, they lay in bed all day and use the excuse "I don't want to get up", which honestly feels like a kick to the gut. It's like they don't want anythinf to do with me, or at least they don't want anything if it doesn't benefit them in some way other than having fun.
Look. If I didn't do the same thing to them that I wish they did with me, that'd be fair. But, I don't. There have been plenty times where my friends have asked me " Hey wanna do x at x time?" and I make it work. I'm one of the most busy people out of the five of us, yet I still try. That's my issue. I'm the only one that does and it males me feel like shit, putting effort into being around people who don't seem to want me there. Even if they say they do.
That took 12 minutes to write because I ended up crying halfway through, sorry. And, sorry if my writing makes no sense here.
Time: 12:20am.
YOU ARE READING
Vent Book Because Depression
No FicciónThis is a vent book so trigger warnings aren't in the chapters and I don't really want to read them again, so here, Tw: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, Eating disorders / mental health issues and panic attacks. They aren't in ever chapter...
