Slow fade

16

I've taken the medicine, it's done nothing. I've gone to the therapy sessions, it doesn't do anything. I've gone to the movie nights, it does nothing. Everyone here is the same. Sad and depressed that they were successful.

I don't speak in therapy because why would I open up to someone that only knows what I did. They get paid to pretend at caring. They don't need to know my story no one does.

The medicine gives me headaches and makes me feel drowsy. It feels as if I'm not even in my own body.

The movies are always some stupid story about someone being sad and then something happens that changes them.

It's all bullshit. That doesn't happen in real life. In real life people only care about themselves and how they feel. People are selfish. I haven't said a word since I've been here.

I had therapy today and I wasn't looking up for it. I walked out of my room for breakfast. I wasn't hungry and the food was horrible but if I didn't come they would only make me stay longer.

I entered the room and was handed my pills and a water. I threw them back and walked over to my table where a tray was out in front of me.

I ate the apple and the rest was pushed around with my fork. I saw out of the window that it was raining. What's beautiful about rain is that it's hard drops of water but in the end the world looks pretty. Mom and I would always wait for the rainbow to appear.

" anyone that has the apt please head to room 118"

I threw my tray away and followed the rest to the room. I found a seat and sat down. I saw mr. Shall take his usual seat. He always smiled at us which I always found weird. Why would you smile at a bunch of people that tried to take their own life's.

" who would like to go first."

A shy girl raised her hand and stood up.

" my bestfriend died and I was very sad and missed her so I attempted to take my own to be with her."

" that was very good thank you for sharing."

During therapy I would always just look at the wall behind the therapist and fade into my own world. I tuned everyone and everything out around me.

" miss Presley!"

I turned my attention to Mr. shall and saw him looking me in the eyes.

" would you like to share."

I didn't say anything I just looked at him with a blank stare. He didn't need to know me or anything about my life.

" if you don't share you won't be able to leave we just want to help."

" you don't want to help. You don't care about our stories. You just care about the check that comes with it."

Those were the first words I spoke since being here. It felt kind of good to get that off of my chest. I had been feeling that since I first started these stupid therapy sessions.

" I most certainly do care about you and everyone else here now share."

" my mom died and I blame myself are you happy now? Are you satisfied about my answer? I'm sure in a few short days you'll forget what I said what they said. You don't care about us just be honest."

He just looked at me. He knew I was right no one actually cares they just want to know your darkest secrets and either pretend to care and leave or use it against you. I knew the pattern I've gone through it my whole life.

I pushed my chair behind me and walked out of the room. I walked to my room and sat on the bed.

I was given a calendar to mark down how many days I had been here I would of been here 4 months tomorrow. I wanted out so bad.

" after breakfast tomorrow you can go home."

I turned my head to see the lady in charge of this whole place. I never bothered to learn her names. I packed the bag I had which didn't contain much ready for tomorrow.