Slow fade

15

I woke up to bright lights shining in my eyes. Had I made it? Was my mother here? " oh good you're awake how are you feeling?"

I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a hospital bed. I hadn't succeeded in my attempt. I was angry, sad, confused. Who found me and how did I get here. All I wanted was my mother.

" a kind man found you and saved your life. If he had waited any longer you wouldn't have made it."

I shouldn't of made it I was suppose to die. I wanted to die. This world didn't provide me anything but pain and anger.

" we have a van coming to pick you up soon. They will help you so something like this doesn't happen again. We want to help you."

" I don't need help and I don't want help. I wanted to die don't you get that. I have no purpose here."

The nurse looked at me sad. I don't need pity looks or pity talks. I need to be with my mother. I laid back down to try and process what was happening but I didn't have much time since I saw two big men coming into my room.

" good morning we're here to help you."
One of the men tried to place a hand on my wrist but I took it away from him.

" we want to help we aren't here to hurt you."

" I don't need to go with you. Just leave me."

" we can't it's our job to help."

Both of the men approached me placing hands on my wrist. I tried to get out of it but they were sting and I was weak. They stood me up and I tried to run away. One of them grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back.

I tried to fight but it was no use I was to weak to do anything. I shut down. There was no way I would be able to get out of this. The walked me outside to their van and placed me in the back.

I didn't need help. I don't need friends. I don't need to be alive. I placed my head against the window and looked outside. It was cloudy as if it was about to rain. That only made me think of my mother more.

For once I'd just like to be successful at something but I couldn't even end my own life correctly. I knew the only way I could survive this car ride was to sleep.

I closed my eyes and feel asleep.

" we're here wake up."

I opened my eyes and didn't recognize where I was.

" how long was I asleep for?"

" around 5 hours."

Why was I driven so far away?

" it's so you aren't familiar with your surrounding so you don't have a chance to escape."

It's as if he read my mind. They took my wrists and led me inside.

" this is miss Presley you were informed about coming."

At the front stood a lady shaking her head. I'm glad more people know about what I did.

" I'm glad you came we are here to help you so I hope you enjoy your stay."

How was so suppose to be happy about being somewhere where I'm constantly reminded that I didn't succeed. That I wanted it to all end. I would be surrounded by people in the same condition as me.

They let me into a room that I would be staying in during my stay. Beige walls, no decorations, and all I had was a bed.

" breakfast is in the morning at 7, you'll receive you medicine prescribed to you by your doctor during breakfast and lunch, you are free to come to the lobby we're everyone played games or sometimes we have movie nights. You'll also be required to go to our therapy sessions with others three times a week."

This was going to be hell. I would not speak to anyone. I would shut down. Maybe they would be like everyone else and give up hope and shove me to the curb. I would prefer that than to be here.