Infatuation - haobin

-2-

♪ "I Love You So" by The Walters ♪

Matthew, Gunwook, Ricky, and Hao walk into his room, each falling on the floor from exhaustion caused by the busy school day

Hao, to say the least, was in the worst mood ever. It's a Friday. Hao hates Fridays. He would love them if it weren't for the simple fact that he won't be able to see Seo Jun for the next few days. Hao groans at the simple thought. One might think that it isn't that bad since Hao barely speaks to the boy anyways, but to Hao, it's a huge deal. Even if they don't speak, Hao looks at him every opportunity he has, even while they are supposed to be focusing on their work. It's a wonder he's even passing all of his classes

"Are you thinking about him again?" Matthew asks. Hao smiles lightly before nodding

"What's the huge deal with him anyway? I mean, what do you see in him?" Ricky asks, leaning on a pillow that he took from Hao's bed

"That doesn't matter. My question is why don't you just talk to him?" Matthew questions, swatting Ricky's question out of the way

Hao's friends know all about his problems with Jun. They know the frustration that lies within him and keep trying to persuade him to talk to the boy

"It's not that easy," Hao says, lying down on his bed and looking at the ceiling

"Why not?" Ricky asks

"'Cause he clearly doesn't wanna date me!"

"And do you?" Matthew questions

"Yes, I mean, not really. I just want to get to know him to see if it can lead up to anything"

"Then just tell him that!"

"No"

"Why not?" Gunwook asks in mocking frustration. They'll never understand the way that his friend thinks

"Because I know that he doesn't want to. I don't know but I have this feeling like he doesn't even want to know me. He's just happy with the simple fact that he likes me, and I like him, and that's all there is to it," Hao looks down in disappointment and a hint of humiliation "Imagine how awkward and embarrassing it would be if I told him and he says 'I like you Hao, but I want nothing to do with you'"

Hao buries his face in a pillow, cringing at the simple thought. Gunwook laughs before jumping on top of him with a grunt, taking the pillow out of his face

"Life isn't life without taking a few risks" he states. Hao pushes him off with a laugh when he starts to tickle him, kicking him with his right leg for extra damage

"Just to remind you, I was the one who made the first move. It's his turn to come to talk to me if he wants to. I don't wanna look desperate" Hao answers

"But you are desperate" Ricky argues. Hao puts a finger to his mouth and shakes his head

"But he doesn't need to know that" he answers, making his friends laugh. Ricky shrugs before speaking

"To be honest, I think that you should just find someone else," Ricky says, making the others but Hao nod in agreement. That's what friends typically say. Whenever you like someone, they'll just throw the person under the bus like they are some kind of alien that has gone through at least one hundred failed experiments. Nevertheless, Hao thinks that his friends just push the statement of finding someone else a bit too much

"No way. I have eyes for none other than Seo Jun. It's not like anyone else likes me" Hao says. Only for a second shaking his head before completely freezing up as he sees his friends look at each other with troubled faces. Hao gasps, standing up on his bed and jumping up and down like a child

"Someone likes me?! Who?" he asks. Gunwook pulls him by the arm to sit him down before he can break any furniture, and worse, any bones

"We don't know anyone, Hao. Calm down"

"Then why were you guys looking around at each other like that?" Hao asks with a raised eyebrow, only to be met with clueless eyes

"Like what?" Matthew asks

"Like you were hiding something from me"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Gunwook says with a shrug. They clearly know what he's talking about

"Ugh, you guys are so fake," Hao says jokingly, slumping his shoulders in disappointment as his friends change the subject, and let the previous matter go.

Yet, even as they speak, Hao can't help but question the topic. Does someone like Hao and he doesn't know about it? How do his friends know anyway? Why wouldn't they tell him? Or maybe they were just worried when they heard Hao saying that he has eyes for none other than Jun. Not gonna lie, that does sound kind of unhealthily obsessive

"So you are coming tomorrow, Hao?" Gunwook asks

"Yep"

"Do you know where we're going?" Ricky asks

"Nope"

Matthew lets out a chuckle before sending Hao a location

"We're hanging out at Hanbin's place" Ricky comments. Hao looks up at the boy after the statement

"Hanbin? Since when were you even close to him?"

"Since he's my boyfriend's best friend. And anyway, we were planning to hang out at Gyuvin's place but his parents are hosting a business meeting there" Ricky says

"So you changed it to Hanbin's place instead...?" Hao asks. Ricky nods, mischievous eyes meeting Gunwook's who just rolls his eyes at him

"Yep. Any problem with that?" Ricky questions, to which Hao simply shakes his head

"No, not at all"

To be honest, yes, Hao does have a problem with that. It's not really a problem, just a little confusion. Like... out of all the houses that they could go to, why did they choose Hanbin's? His friends barely even know the guy. For all he knows, Hanbin could kidnap them and-

"He won't kill us or anything, if that's what you're worrying about" Matthew sarcastically states with a laugh. Hao feels his ears go red in embarrassment

That's exactly what he was thinking about

"Whatever. Ricky, why aren't you hanging out with your boyfriend?" he asks with a sour tone. Don't get him wrong, he's happy that his friend managed to find someone for himself, but Hao can't help but feel jealous. He wishes that he could also be held in the same way that Gyuvin holds Ricky. He wishes that he could be kissed the same way that Gyuvin kisses Ricky. He wishes that he could be loved the same way that the boys love each other.

Damn that Seo Jun

"Is that you wishing that I was gone?" Ricky asks with a laugh

"Totally" Hao answers with an equally joking laugh

Just then, before Ricky could answer, his phone lights up. Hao watches as Ricky picks it up with a small smile on his face. Hao manages to take a small glance at the name; Gyuvin.

Hao sighs in a mix of jealousy and loneliness. Damn these couples, Hao wants to have whatever they have.

Hell, some might think that he is happy knowing that his crush likes him back, but it only makes him feel as lonely as ever.

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I'm so happy to be able to start writing this story

It's the genre that I typically enjoy writing so I hope it will turn out well

(stream 'smart' by le sserafim)