Grown Enough (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty Three

Cont...

Ethan

I found a window of time and snuck out for a little while.

I just wanted to clear my mind before everything.

I needa review this plan alone and make it make sense for me.

What the fuck am I suppose to do if I come face to face with the nigga that could take out both of my big brothers?

I don't know. I ain't ever scared but this is like knowingly walking into the Lions den.

Who's to even say I'll walk out to tell it.

Here lately, I find myself alone more than anything, just tryna grasp a deeper understanding to all of this commotion going on around me.

I thought back to all those late nights Ace and Luke let me tag along on some crazy ass mission.

I thought of the brotherhood we had built in such a small period of time.

My car automatically drove to the only place I knew I could go.

I thought of turning around cause I ain't wanna bother her with everything that just went down between us but she is all I got.

I knocked on my own door cause I ain't wanna enter if she don't wanna hear me out.

It was silent for a while before I heard the locks.

"You scared me. Why are you knocking?" She opened the door.

"I ain't know if you wanted me to just barge in."

She stepped aside to let me in.

"Addie here?"

"No, she begged to stay with Mom tonight." She sat on the couch.

I didn't realize I was pacing until she asked me to sit down.

"I don't needa sit, I gotta go. I just wanted to talk to you real quick."

Her face softened at me. "Ethan, we haven't even talked yet... Come sit, is something wrong?" She patted the spot beside her.

I stood still for a moment.

"You'll still listen, even after I broke your heart?"

"Ethan." She smacked her lips and rolled her eyes, something she does when she's tired.

I braced myself for a smart ass response but instead she just said, "Of course I will."

I don't know what happen but the entire truth just spilled from my mouth.

The real truth.

I bit my bottom lip to stop the quivering.

"Ethan." She picked up my head from her lap. "We're too deep in it now for you to doubt yourself. You have to see it through. They need you. Hell, I guess we all need you. I remember before you even came home, Aubree said 'Ethan, he's the right one to take a chance on' and you have proved yourself. You can do this. You're stronger than you're believing. You can do this."

More like I have to do this.

"I guess I know. I just need to hear it with all the doubts clouding my own mind."

"We gotta get them home and healed. You said their Aunt is here now? Well, it isn't time for you to get cold feet. Everyone is falling into position. It's aligning perfect. You have to bring our big brothers back home." She encouraged me.

Now, that's something no one else could've made me feel that way.

Cause she means that shit, too.

I guess I forget those are her brothers just as much as they are mine.