I loved playing for Arsenal. I loved my whole team and the bond we all have. I especially love getting to play with my girlfriend Katie McCabe. It's 100 times better playing with her than against her. With how aggressive and hard she is, I definitely prefer to be on her team.
Today was another game day. Arsenal vs Chelsea. The game was going well. We were up by one, and it was halfway into the second half. Me being a defender, I'm not always so close to Katie all the time, so it was a 'shock' to me when I turn around to see her shouting at Sam Kerr. And the thing is, Sam isn't backing down, she's going right back at it to Katie. The start to push at each other, while others try to hold them back.
Fuck.
I quickly make my way over to them and push in-front of everyone, trying to get close to Katie, to calm her down before she does something stupid.
"Katie please, stop this." I say, standing in front of her and in between her and Sam.
It's like Katie didn't even notice I was there. Her eyes were fixated on Sam. Katie is still shouting at Sam when she goes to push Sam again, but instead shoves me. I wasn't expecting it, so I stumble back, falling onto my arse. What the fuck. Why would she do that to me?
Suddenly there is more shouting from the arsenal girls and someone my England teammates at Chelsea. They are all going at Katie, for pushing me. Katie is quick to look over at them confused, before looking down at me. Her jaw drops and I just look at her, tears welling in my eyes.
She promised she would never get physical with me. She knows about my past relationship and what happened. She knows how much the abuse affected me. She knows how scared I was for ages to let anyone else in. And yet, she still did that.
"Y/n..." Katie says, completely ignoring everyone else, and walking past Sam, towards me, as I still sat on the ground.
I quickly shake my head and stand up, backing away from her. I can't have her near me right now.
Katie looks at me heartbroken, before the ref comes up to her with a red card. She sighs and lowers her head as she walks off the pitch.
"Y/n, are you okay honey?" Beth asks me, wrapping an arm around me.
I nod, wiping my eyes.
"Let's just continue the game." I say, before heading back to my starting position.
We ended up winning the game, with Beth scoring a banger at the end. We went around shaking hands and I talked to some of my England teammates.
"Y/n, are you okay? That was a shit thing for Katie to do. Do you need anything?" Millie asks me, as her Leah, Beth and Viv stand around me.
"No, no, it's fine. I'm fine." I say, trying to not only convince them, but myself too.
Leah just hugs me and kisses the side of my head.
"I'm sorry babe." She whispers.
I nod and hug her back.
Katie and I had arrived together to the stadium, and I was just not comfortable with driving home in the same car as Katie, so Beth and Viv offered to take me home. And obviously I quickly took them up on that offer.
I take a step inside Katie's and my house, hoping that she's not there. But my wish wasn't for filled. Katie sat on the couch, staring at me sadly. I'm taken back and gasp quietly, gosh she scared me.
"Baby..." Katie whispered.
I can't do this. All I see when I look at her is my past relationship. The pain and suffering I went through and Katie had always promised to never hurt me. To never scare me like they did. To always treat me with respect. That push wasn't out of respect. That push caused so much pain to uprise, that I thought was gone. The push brought back too many horrible memories.
I shake my head, my eyes filling with tears.
"I need to go." I say, trying not to sob, as I fast walk to our bedroom.
I quickly hear footsteps behind me, and know Katie is now running to catch up to me.
"Baby please. I'm so sorry. I feel horrible." She says, sounding completely heart broken.
You turn around, and flop onto the bed, sitting up, looking up at a crying Katie.
"Why would you do that?" I sob.
Katie's bottom lip quivers and she shakes her head.
"I trusted you. You told me you would never hurt me like they hurt me. But all you did was prove yourself wrong. You have brought back so many horrible memories and fear that I thought I had gotten over. You have made me fear you, Katie. Why would you do that?" I say, as both of us are now completely sobbing our hearts out.
Katie is quick to kneel down on the wooden floor before me. Her hands softly attach to my calves as she cries into my legs.
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to fix this. I didn't realise it was you. And even then, I shouldn't have got physical. I will never forgive myself. But please baby, you have to trust me. I love you. I love you so much and I'm disgusted with myself." She sobs, looking up at me, as tears still pour.
I love her. I love her so much. But how can I trust her again?
"How can I trust you?" I whisper.
Katie just kisses my knees, trying to come up with the words.
"I don't know baby, but I will do whatever it takes to regain your trust. I can't live without you. I love you so much. Please, please give me another chance."
Fuck I can't hate her, I love her too much. I can't live without her.
I lift her chin up with my hands and guide her face towards mine. I slowly attach our lips together, tasting each other's salty tears. It was a quick kiss, nothing more than I few second peak. I pull away and continue to hold Katie's swollen wet face in my hands.
"I love you too." I whisper. "But can we start slow?"
Katie nods vigorously.
"Whatever you want baby. I'll do whatever you want." She Says standing up, and taking a seat next to me.
"Katie..." I saw slowly.
She looks over at me, her eyes filled with love.
"I would appreciate it if we slept separately for a little while. It would just make me more comfortable."
Katie nods, but I can see her eyes fill with tears again. I know she's hurt, but it's just what I feel most comfortable with.
"I'll do whatever you want baby."
It's been a few days since Katie and I had our talk, and a few nights where she slept in the guest room. I'm starting to feel more comfortable again, and cuddling Katie when we watch tv on the couch, or kissing and making out with Katie. She's been the sweetest, always doing whatever I want, and doing it without a problem. But now, now I want her back, fully.
Tonight Katie starts to yawn as we watch a movie on the tv. She rubs her eyes before standing up.
"I'm going to head to bed, goodnight baby." She says leaning down to kiss my lips softly.
I smile against the kiss while turning the tv off. Katie goes to walk away, but I grab her hand and stop her. She turns her head around towards me confused and I smile at her as I lead her towards our bedroom. I look back to see Katie smiling widely at me. I climb into bed, on my side and wait for Katie to do the Same. She smiles happily at me and climbs into bed too. I am quick to open my arms, waiting for Katie to cuddle into them, which is quickly does.
"Thank you baby." She whispered, her hand resting on my chest, as our legs tangle between each others.
I just kiss her head and close my eyes.
"Night love." I whisper into her hair.
"I love you, so much." Katie whispers, as she starts to drift off.
I smile and cuddle into her more. She's definitely the one for me.
This is kinda short, but I haven't really been able to think of stuff to write. I've seen all of your guys ideas of which people you want me to write abt. But it's coming up with ideas and actual stories that are the hard parts.
Hope you enjoyed anyways.
