21. Second chance

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𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔫 "𝔟𝔲𝔩𝔟𝔶" 𝔴𝔞𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔱𝔬𝔫 ²⁰

Incompetent, fool fool,unreliable, those were the words that my father used to describe me as I sat there looking

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Incompetent, fool fool,unreliable, those were the words that my father used to describe me as I sat there looking. He said them right to my face, that only prove seh him nave nuh respect fi mi now and he never will.

When mi did young mi did always look up to mi father because him did have that drive fi be somebody, him neva back down from nuh man nor gyal, him always tek control of whatever situation he was in and in the end he would always use it to his advantage.

Growing up in a gang taught me how to be a man from an early age,but in my father's eyes I was never enough. The only person that I was ever truly appreciated by was my mother and he took her away from me. He killed her because he thought she made me "soft."
"Softness, an emotion that a man should never have" according to my father.

After my mother's death I was never the same, no one understands the feeling of being empty for the rest of your life after you lost the person that you loved the most. The feeling that you have no purpose and no point of living, your just surviving everyday until you die.

Not many people know that he's my father, afterall he's too ashamed to let them know. Everyone thinks that I'm just a random kid that he took in one day,just like most of the other members.

My father doesn't recruit men into his gang. He recruits little boys so that he can train and control them, he gives dem a roof to sleep under, food to eat and a good quality education, who wouldn't want that? But likkle do they know it's a trap to get their loyalty. Afterall who would betray a man that took dem out of the ghetto and carried them to Norbrook, a place they could only dream to image.

It's all a big mind game, and it's so fucked up that they're all too comfortable to figure it out.

"Give a man bread and circuses and he would never revolt." Juvenal.

As long as he keeps giving them a false sense of reality, they would never leave. False class consciousness.

The only person that my father ever truly loved was my sister, but once he saw the opportunities that he could could get from her, he only saw her as a pawn in his game more than his own flesh and blood. Her mother tried to save her once,but she failed and after that she became a slave to my father, every night she has to be here to mend the gunshot wounds of the injured. Aka night shift.

Edna was once a well known Doctor in Jamaica, one of the best many would say, but now she's just a slave to her bad decisions, that is falling in love with my father.

After Dejah was born,Edna gave up her career to take care of her. She knew that being the daughter of a gang leader would make her have a rough life, but I don't think she knew what she was in for until now.

I was jealous of Dejah for a while when we were kids, my father would give her the attention that I wanted as he would pretend that I didn't exist, but once I found out what he was doing, I was no longer jealous, I was sorry for her, sorry for the things that she would go through when she got older, that's why I didn't leave and dissappear as I planned ever so often. She needs me even though she doesn't know that I exist.

"Come here." My father said bringing me out of my thoughts.

As I walked towards him, a bad feeling took over my body as I knew exactly what he would tell me to do.

He handed me a gun and turned his back to me.

"Kill him." He said without remorse as he went back to sit down.

I have killed many people before both good and bad all of which was just apart of the business, but this time it was personal. Kimalie and I have been close since we were young, he was wiser and stronger than me, I would always joke and call him the father that I never had, or wished I had,but now I have to kill him.

I would never want to cross my father, so this is just something that I have to do. Put yuh feelings aside and just deal wid it.

As I looked at my friend all I could see was a stone faced man. He was going to be killed yet still he put on a brave face showing no emotion. He enjoyed a short period of time with the girl he loved and that alone made him at peace.

They have always liked each other as kids, I'm just happy they finally got a chance to confess there love.

With eyes focused, I looked at my friend for the last time. "Sorry." I mouth as I pressed the trigger twice, and he feel to the ground.

"Get rid of him." My father said nonchalantly as he went back to business as usual.

As I dragged his limp body through the door, I saw his eyes open and close briefly but I said nothing.

"Liff him up and put him inna the trunk." I said to one of my father's goons as I walked to my car.

20 minutes later.....

After I left my father's house I drove for awhile until I was far away enough,just incase someone was watching me.

Pulling over into an abandoned lot, I quickly got out of the car and opened the trunk.

Looking at my friends weak body, I couldn't help but feel sorry for what I did to him,but it was no time to feel sorry for him I had to saw his life.

Taking him out of the truck I carried him around the car and placed him in the back seat.

"W, we ha.. ve to... tell... h.e.r." He said weakly as he struggled to speak.

"Mi have a plan." I said quickly as I closed the back door, got in the front seat and drove off.

When I finally arrived at my destination, I quickly got out of the car and went to the back seat to take him out.

After struggling with him to the front door, I knocked hurriedly, until the door finally opened.

"A 5am inna the morning who deh yah?" She asked miserably until she finally looked at us shock evident in her face.

"We need yuh help Edna."

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫Where stories live. Discover now