The Joys of life

33

[Chapter 33]

Lethokuhle Khumalo - Mdlalose

Thoba only left today and he has already missed four days of work. I have finished all my assignments and submissions at school, I only am waiting for my graduation date now. I haven't spoken to Lizwi since and i'm seriously hurt. I have been stopping myself from calling or texting him.

I was currently in my lounge with Amahle, we were netflix and chilling.

Amahle: "You bitch scared me that night! I honestly thought you were gonna sleep with that dog." it is no secret that my family doesn't like Lwande at all, they hate him.

Me: "I am so much better than that."

Amahle: "I know but you know what they say about girls and their virginity breakers."

Me: "Mxm. I regret even trying to hurt Lwande that night, it's what got me dumped." I sigh and this idiot laughs.

Amahle: "Yabo sometimes you should just let things be!"

Me: "Mxm! What irritates me the most is the fact that he thinks I still love Lwande. Okay, yeah I hate him and angry at him but I think those are the only feelings I have for him right. I'm just angry that he got to just run away from responsibility and carry on with his life while he was the one who was raised by both parents and has an idea of what being a parent is but mina who did I have Amahle? I was just at school with my grandparents a million kilometres away from me. I was scared, I've never had a mother so I didn't know what I would be doing, I still don't futhi. I'm scared that maybe I'm doing something wrong, I have never had anyone teach me how it is to be a mother. I was raised by my grandparents, they both old, couldn't do some things with me but they did everything. I just, sometimes talking about my upbringing without parents in my life makes me feel like I don't appreciate my grandparents and the work they did raising me. I just, mxm." I walk off crying as I am and go to my room. The door opens right after I throw myself on my bed.

Me: "Amahle, can I please be alone?"

Lizwi: "It's me babe." I hear his footsteps come closer, I wipe my pouring tears.

Me: "Ufunani?" I ask hiccuping.

Lizwi: "I'm sorry sthandwa sami. Oh nkosi, ngiyaxolisa sthandwa sami. I should have given you a chance to explain yourself better. I'm sorry that I was selfish. Ngixolisa MaDikane." he pulls me to his arms as I wail louder. He rocks the both of us back and forth, softly brushing my back.

Me: "Please leave Lizwi."

Lizwi: "Baby?"

Me: "Ukhulume wadela izolo angithi? angifune kukhuluma mina! Just like you said we should break up? I think it's a good idea. Now leave and leave me alone." He sighs and kisses my head. He cups my face and kisses my lips before he leaves."

*****
Sqalo: "Usuright Thotho?" he asks as soon as I enter the living room. I smile faintly and nod.

Me: "I'm okay baby." I take a sit next to him and check his homework.

Amahle: "He was here to drop off Sqalo." I nod not looking at her.

Me: "I only saw his text just before my nap."

Amahle: "You hungry?"

Me: "No, i'm okay." I breathe out through my mouth ss I feel myself about to cry some more.

Amahle: "Letho look at me." I shake my head.

Sqalo: "Thotho?" he calls out in his soft cracking voice. I just burst into tears and Sqalo follows suit, I just pull him into my arms.