Dumbass -M. sturniolo

15

I woke up with the worst hang over ever my head was pounding horribly and my legs hurt. I sit up in the bed and see Chris sleeping at the end of the bed and ian sleeping beside me

I slowly get out the bed because I didn't wanna get out to fast and make my headache worse I walk to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror

My eyes were red my hair was a mess and my cheeks were tinted with red and I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt that I don't really remember putting on. I quickly brush my hair and brush my teeth and go down stairs

I see Matt sitting on the couch Nick eating bacon in the kitchen and Amelia looking at her phone Nick looks up and throws me aspirin I obviously didn't catch it and it smacks my cheek

"what the fuck"I say picking it up "it's for the hang over" he responds going back to eating his food I walk over to the fridge and take out a bottle of water

I quickly take the aspirin and set the water down "where'd you get bacon from" I asked Nick taking a seat beside him "we ordered ihop your food is in the fridge" he said

I got back up took it out and put it on the table and started to eat it "how did you know my exact order" I asked now thinking about it

Amelia finally looks up her eyes looking like she was crying all night "we didn't Matt knew" she said "oh" was all I could say back I was pretty shit faced last night but before I even got drunk I vividly remember what happened with Matt

That was the main reason I got drunk I didn't like what I was feeling and tried drowning it in alcohol, definitely the last time I'll ever do that again

I finish up with My food and walk into the living room and sit on the other small couch I have I hear footsteps come down the stairs and it's Chris

"Bro last night was fun as fuck but my head hurts so bad" he says rubbing the temple of his head "Nick has aspirin" Matt says finally saying a word since I been here

I don't wanna talk about what happened last night cause I still don't even know how I really feel and it would just be super awkward to bring it up

the rest of the day was kinda chill I still haven't talked to Matt at all and everybody noticed that we haven't even interacted except for the times he asked for a remote and I caught him staring or he would catch me staring which made me feel even more awkward

"oh Mac can you help me look for a charger upstairs" Nick said to me I furrow my eyebrows "there's one in the-"  he cuts me off by taking my hand and dragging me upstairs

We went inside my room and he closed the door "Nick there was one in the kitchen why did you make me come all the way up here" I groaned about to open the door back up but he stood in front of it

"Why are you and Matt acting so strange around each other" he said I stood there obviously not expecting this question "I don't know what you mean" I say playing with my fingers he analyzes me " your lying" he said "he asked you to pass him the remote and you didn't say no or say an insult or anything" he said reasoning more

"or maybe I still have a small headache and didn't feel like bickering" I said with a sly smile and went to try and push him out the way

He didn't nudge and continued "that's bullshit and you know it" he said rolling his eyes I sigh "fine" I said crossing my arms

"we almost kissed last night" I mumbled he scrunched his eyebrows "what?" He said

"We almost kissed last night" I said trying to say it a little louder his eyes widen "WHAT" he almost screamed I immediately shush him

"There's a reason I'm mumbling Nicolas" I spit "yea no shit oh my god I always imagined you guys liked each other but I never actually thought it would happen" he said in full shock

"yea well me either" I said sitting on the edge of my bed "well ldo you like him"

I sit there thinking "I don't know" I said uselessly he groaned "what do you mean you don't know" he said I look at him "I mean I don't know, I never would see myself really liking Matt and if I ever did think about something like that I would just push the feelings away" I said bring my knees to my chest

"How does it feel like when your with him" Nick said trying to help me figure out my feelings

I start thinking " It feels like I can't get away from him no matter how hard I try like I know he'll always be there and it gives me a certain comfort knowing that he will always be there to argue with me or to try and make me feel better it feels different from how I feel with the rest of the group like I know you guys will be there for me but I don't know it sounds stupid" I said after ranting

Nick sits there with a still shocked expression on his face "it sounds like, like isn't the word for how you feel about Matt" he said slowly like he didn't want me to freak or something confusion start setting in

"Like maybe the word your looking for is..love?" He said my eyes widen no I can't love Matt having a small crush maybe but it can't be love I don't even understand the full concept of love yet

" I know it sounds crazy but hear me out" he said abruptly before I got a chance to speak "maybe everytime you push away the way you feel about him they keep coming back stronger after a occurrence like when you guys were cuddled up together or like last night" he said

I shake my head "maybe we're thinking about it to hard" I said taking my knees away from my chest and start getting up "no Mac maybe try talking to him about it" Nick said trying to get me to stay

"No nick let's forget this entire thing ever happened and that I don't like Matt and he doesn't like me and that we will never ever happen" I said gulping and again pushing away all the feelings

Nick is noticing how I'm eager to end the conversation and how quickly I am to push away the feelings

"Mac just try-"  he started but I cut him off "no let's just go" I said wanting to leave so badly he's quiet for a sec and just nods his head

I walk down the stairs and Amelia looks up "find the charger?" She said I shake my head and take my seat next to Chris and put my eyes on the show.

I'm tryna do better at updating but school is starting again so I'm lowkey doubting myself but I didn't rlly like this chapter how did yall feel about it tho

hopefully she doesn't keep pushing them down🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️