It wasn't me

CHAPTER 1

Rose

  You know those moments when sometimes you joke with your friends that you need therapy or that you should check yourself into a mental hospital? Yeah? No? Well this is what I was about to do.
  Standing in front of the  Rosewood Psychiatric Institution, I was ready to take the next step in my career. No, I wasn’t here because I needed it, I was here because I wanted to help the ones who really needed it. The mentally disturbed, psychos, how the world called them. The ones that have been through hell and back but only with their mind and what is the worst part is that the mind makes it look so so much worse than it actually is. It wasn’t their fault, at least not entirely for some of them but I wanted to help.

  I was fresh out of school and eager to get a job as a psychiatrist. Rosewood Institution was the only hospital where they weren’t asking for previous experience and that counted a lot. This place was known for keeping some dangerous people but was it really that true?

  I made my way inside and at a first glance it was a pretty friendly environment. It wasn’t as bad as people were making it look. The main hall was pretty bright with calming colors and a big information map. I ventured even deeper and came across the main desk.

  “Hello! My name is Farr Rose and I got called in by doctor Madden…for the open position as a psychiatrist…?” I introduced myself to the lady at the reception that couldn’t be much older than 50.

  Her face lit up like she just won the big prize on the lottery and she looked somewhat enthusiastic too.

  “Nice to meet you sweetheart. Dr. Madden office is right down the hall, the brown door, he’s expecting you.” She said in a kind voice.

  I thanked the lady and made my way down the hall that she pointed out. It looked like the main hall but it also had a dark blue carpet that make you feel like you were walking on a could.

  Once in front of the front door, I felt a bit scared to knock, almost feeling like it wasn’t the job for me but once I knocked I knew I couldn’t back up now. I heard a faint ‘come in’ and I did.

  “Oh, you must Ms. Farr, nice to finally meet you. Take a seat please.”

  “Thank you for accepting me Dr. Madden.”

  The middle aged man smiled and took a seat back at the desk, me following suit and taking a seat opposite of him.

  His office was not big but not small either, it was like he knew exactly how much space he needed for all of his belongings. The walls were filled with therapy and psychology books, some looked newer, probably for more newer techniques and some looked like they were hundreds of years old. The big windows were decorated by big green drapes that were tied with golden ropes and the carpet in his office was burgundy.

  “Ms. Farr, is it ok for you if I would call you by your first name? Is it ok to call you Rose, I am trying to be close with all of my employees so that this place would feel like a community. It helps the patients too.” He says in a calm voice, his big glasses resting on his nose.

  “Totally. I am ok about it.” I nodded.

  “I want to introduce you to this hospital, you will start actually working tomorrow but for today I just want to explain to you how the system works.”

  I nodded to him, actually interested. I could say I was pretty excited for this job and I wanted to do it good.

  “As you might have noticed already, this hospital has six floors, each one for different patients with different diseases. As you go higher, the more disturbed the patients are. On the first floor, for example, we have the patients that are fighting against bad forms of depression all the way to drug addicts or alcohol addicts, and so, it goes up. You will be working on the sixth floor. Now I know how this might sound, like we’re throwing you in the lion’s den but we only keep two patients there and one of them will be moved to another facility soon.”

I couldn’t do anything but nod at the doctor’s words, I wasn’t really in a position where I could deny the job or the offer. I couldn’t tell him that I won’t do the work just because the patients up there were just a bit more difficult.

  “Would it be possible for me to see the files for said patients?”

  “I’m afraid not yet, not until our two week policy is up. If you’ll still want to work after two weeks, you can have access to the files of the patients.”

  I called it bullshit, how could I know what people needed if I couldn’t see their history, know what they went through, their medical records. I hold back a scoff but I still think it is unfair and a bit too much of a safety measure.

  “I’ll come with you now to explain what each patient needs and tell you a bit about each of them, we’ll also talk about other things.”

  “Ok. Thank you doctor.”

  We exited his office and made our way down the hall and towards the elevator. Once inside, he pressed number six and we started to climb towards the sixth floor. Arriving on the sixth floor felt unusual, I felt colder and this part looked way more desolated and depressing than the rest of the hospital, which looked friendly. I noticed only four doors which were very far away from one another. I wondered if the rooms were big or the thick walls were just another safety measure. The door which led into the corridor was a locked door protected by a password system.

  “I will email you the password later this afternoon.” The doctor said while typing the password in and stopping at one end of the corridor, me next to him.

  “So, as I mentioned, at the moment we only have two patients. One here.” He said as he pointed to the door to his left “and the other one is there.” He pointed all the way at the other side of the corridor on the right.  “This one here, he will be moved soon so you won’t have to tend to him as much but that means…your neurons will be minced just on the other one.” Dr. Madden said in an almost pitiful voice.

  “Which one is the worst?” I asked in a whisper.

  The doctor pointed to the door far away. “His name if Felix, we don’t know his last name, not the real one at least, he changed them a lot but…” the doctor sighted. “I hope you’re going to be fine with him.”

  “I see…well I believe that everyone deserves a chance to change, even them.”

  Dr. Madden looked at me like I have just fallen from a tree. He probably thought I was crazy for wanting to help them too.

  “Here is how things are going to work. Every day, morning at 11 and evening at 6, you have to come and give them their medicine and make sure they take it, in the noon you have a therapy session with each of them, or just keep them company. This can last as long as they want. While you have to go in their rooms when taking their medicine, the sessions will take place in a room that is more…friendly and secure. Kyle, the one here, is more cooperative and he usually takes his pills and talks during the sessions, Felix on the other hand…he has ways of tricking the nurses into thinking he takes his pills and he doesn’t really talk during the sessions but I believe that you can change him Rose. But be careful, he can be quite dangerous and smooth like a snake, don’t fall for his tricks.”

  “Got it, thank you doctor. And I assume that the red button over there is for emergencies.”

  “Good eye. And yes, let’s hope that you’ll never need it, ever.”

  After explaining more things and signing some papers, I went home and got ready for bed, with my candle lit up, I looked out the window, some shadows visible from the apartment in front of my block but I guess I never would have thought that some shadows could ever be misplaced.