It wasn't me

Chapter 10

Rose

I was zoning out while still sitting down on the ground. It must have been 15 minutes since the mystery man had once again disappeared. I was asking myself if I was so drunk that I started seeing things or that if I got high from all the smoke that I had inhaled in the bar tonight. But I was sitting on the middle of a field in a dress so the things that happened did happen, otherwise I wouldn’t have been here.

  “Rosie?!” a voice from afar called my name.

Jay. He came.

  I slowly got up from the ground at the sound of his voice and I waved a hand in his direction. He began running towards me and he hugged me tight to his chest. I can hear his erratic heartbeat and his breath was fanning over my neck and a section of my back. He put his big hand on my hair as if wanting to not lose me again, as if he was afraid that I was going to just simply disappear.

  “Can you let me go?” I asked, my voice muffled because of the way he was still holding me tight.

  He did and took a step back, looking me in the eye.

  “What happened Rose?” His voice was fully of worry, and I could tell it by the fact that he ran after me in the middle of nowhere and he also called me Rose and not by the nicknames that he was usually calling me by like ‘Posie’ or even ‘Rosie’.

  “Let’s go home first.” I told him since it was late and it was getting far too cold for my outfit choice for tonight.

  Monday came quickly after the over agglomerated weekend and once again I was back at the hospital, changing into my scrubs.

  I saw doctor Madden walking down the hall and I accelerated my pace to catch up with him since I wanted to ask him a few things.

  “Doctor Madden?” I asked loud enough for him to hear me. “Excuse me.”

He turned around with a smile on his firm face. “Oh, Rose how are you?” he asked as he waited for me to catch up to where he was.

  “I’m good, thank you.” I replied politely.

  “That’s good to hear. I wanted to congratulate you on the work that you are doing. You ex patient that was transferred is now doing so much better in the new center and the doctors from there called me and told me how much he talks about how kind and respectful you were to him.”

  “I am trying my best sir.”

  “Also Felix…” he stopped for a second tutting his mouth as if trying to find the good words “it’s an improvement. He is taking his medicine and coming to most therapy sessions. That never happened before.”

  “Ah, about that.” I began, remembering the first time when he was supposed to come to a therapy session “On our first meeting, something happened.”

He raised his eyebrows in confussion.

  “He kind put on a fight…but I really didn’t like how the guards treated him. It was…abusive. They pinned him to the ground.” I said, my voice starting to be a bit angry again.

  “Well he put on a fight, you said so.” The doctor said as if it wasn’t a big deal.

  “Yes but he also is a patient with mental problems. Don’t you think that a behavior like this can be critically triggering for someone like him? Also, they weren’t treating him like a human,  but like a number and they called him 404.” I insisted on my point.

  “Yes, they don’t need to know his name and his patient number is 404.”

  His nonchalance was making me angry. Why was he acting like his patients didn’t matter?

  “Sir? What disorder does Felix actually suffer from? I never got his file and I was wondering if I could have it so I could adjust my sessions accordingly.” I chanced. I felt like I was playing in a bets house. Felix’s file never came in my possession and I needed to know my patient accordingly.

  “I’ll make sure you have it by the end of the week Ms. Farr.” He said as he turned to me once again and before entering his office we said our goodbyes.

I looked at the watch on my wrist and realized I was late for the therapy session with Felix. He became more open and talkative but never about subjects that were truly relevant but nevertheless I was happy he was getting more comfortable to happen. In the last session I had learned that he enjoyed the piano and that he knew how to play it. Two sessions ago he only talked about the various meanings of colors and so, I was curious what today’s topic would be.

  I entered the room and jumped a bit when I saw him already there sitting on the window still. He got more buff ever since I started to sneak him breakfast. When I first saw him was only skin and bones but now he started to get some muscles and he looked more human. He was looking outside, the closest he’ll get to being outside since his room didn’t have an actual window.

  “Hi Posie.” He said with his signature low voice and a smirk.

  “That’s new Lix.” I replied, deciding that if he was to call me by a nickname I would do the same.

  I took a seat on the floor, against the couch. Everything was free in this room, we quit formalities long ago. He could move to his liking while talking and being here so I wasn’t so stiff myself, trying to make him feel safe.

  I was never the one to start the conversation. He could always start and talk about anything he felt like.

  “I wanted power.” He says after a few minutes as he was still looking out the window. “I ran towards it. It didn’t matter if the sun blinded me, if the winter wind was cutting my skin, to reach that place was my goal. To be complete, to protect you.” He said the last part in a whisper but I still heard him but didn’t interrupt him. “Wanted love but it transformed into greed and before I knew it, it disappeared. They trapped me in ruins like the deep sea. Oblivion. It’s a curse, and it punished me, but what I realized that my fate is a sign that only responds to you, it’s red. Clear up my darkness. Fate is in my hands again, flowing like blood inside me. I’m calling you desperately. I’ll never forget that everything that I got from you was power. I grew up in an eternity that will soon return to you.” He stopped for a moment and came to sit down on the ground in front of me. I didn’t say anything as I waited for him to continue. This was the most raw form that I was getting from him ever since I started working here and I couldn’t interrupt him. My heart didn’t let me.

  “It’s a love wrapped in blood.” He continued. “Erased by arrogance, my arrogance, that’s why I lost everything. I became a monster but I know what I have to do. Follow the blood…at the end of the road…I’m yours.”

  I was looking at him in I guess, a shocked expression. This man had a way with words, he never failed to amaze me but I knew to not take it literally and word by word otherwise I would think he was in love with me, which was absolutely impossible. He wanted to murder me more than love me…which I hope it wasn’t true.

  Felix began laughing at my expression and got up, his boots giving him extra inches.

  “It was nice chatting with you Posie, see you tomorrow.” He walked towards the door but in classic Felix fashion he made one more remark. “The weekend killed me, I need a nap.”

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