It wasn't me

Chapter 19

Rose

The occasional Saturday shift sometimes came as a pretty calm day with not too much paperwork to do and my only chores for today were to take care of Felix and survive through the day.

Since I got that note yesterday I couldn’t even sleep well and this morning while I was riding the subway to work I felt like a pair of eyes was always on me. I tried to look around me and see if I found something off such as a familiar face or the signature red basketball vest that those men were wearing. I figured out that the main character, Cole wasn’t going to be able to do something to me himself since I’m sure Eunha put him in a pretty deep coma, he didn’t kill him but he was close. I have kept my eyes wide open for other men from his gang or whoever was looking remotely suspicious.

Once at the office I got into my little cubicle that I had set up in order for me to do paperwork or whatever I had to do. I was looking for a paper in my bag when I came across a file. Felix’s file. I had to somehow sneak it back into the file room without being caught or…keep it forever. I have to think carefully about this but the rationale side of me was saying that I would risk my job even more if I were to keep the file. I had to find a way to sneak it back to where it belonged.

I got caught up in my thoughts and forgot about the fact that I scheduled a session with Felix at 12. It was now 1 pm. I ran towards my therapy room and made a quick pause before entering. Once I entered I was met with…no one? It was weird since Felix usually arrived sooner than me, so being greeted by no one felt odd.

I left the room and made my way towards the elevator. No matter how many times I rode this elevator up to the sixth floor, I always got chills while doing so, I could never get used to the feeling. Once arrived on the sixth floor I make my way past heavy steel doors for rooms that were vacant and go to Felix’s door. I knock two times.

“Felix?” I try to see if he is in there, even though he didn’t really have anywhere else to be. “Felix? You in there?” I tried again but once again I was met with silence. Where could he be? I could still feel an eerie feeling around that I couldn’t shake off so I did the next logical thing that I could think of. Call the guards.

“Hello this is Nurse Farr speaking, I have a problem with patient 404 from the sixth floor, he doesn’t respond to being called in his cell and I am afraid that he might not be there. I need two men here please.” I spoke into my work phone.

The truth was that if it wasn’t for this weird feeling I wouldn’t have called the guards. In fact I would be happy if Felix got out a bit but telling me about it would have been better. This way, if he was out and we couldn’t find him…we would both be in deep water. He was in his cell this morning when I brought him breakfast and watched him take his meds so why wasn’t he responding now?

Shortly enough two men came and got me to step aside as they opened the door. The took a peek inside and then looked at me.

“He’s inside miss.” One of them said.

Confused I pushed them put of my way, wanting to see for myself. He was in there, I could see his black hair that was a bit grown into a mullet. He was just…sleeping? Weird. He usually had trouble sleeping and now he was taking day naps.

I wanted to take a step inside but one of the guards stopped me by grabbing my forearm.

“I don’t think it’s safe to-“ he began but I cut him off by walking inside. They didn’t know that I have done this multiple times and that by this point it felt more than normal to be in his cell.

I quietly made my way to the bed and saw his sleeping figure. His mouth was slightly open and soft purrs were coming out. His breath was steady and he looked so calm, how could they call him a-

Before I could even finish my thoughts I was pushed and pinned to the ground by Felix, him on top of me while I was on the ground. He was looking into my eyes but only for a few seconds before the guards took him off of me and took out their guns.

One of the guards took me farther away from him while the other immobilised him.

I think it was a shock for him too because once he got to understand what just happened his eyes softened. He looked at me in a soft way, almost like he was sorry.

“Guys stop.” I told the two massive men.

“Miss, with all due respect here, he attacked you.” One of the gritted out.

“No, it wasn’t his fault. It was mine, I was staring at him and scared him, that’s why he reacted like that. It was my mistake.” I told them but they still didn’t want to let Felix go.
“Let him go before I tell the doctor that you were snooping around his office drawers.” I threatened in a serious voice.

The man that had Felix immobilised jumped like he was burned and let Felix go but he didn’t move from his spot. I took a step closer to him and crouched to his level.

“Do you feel like talking today?” I asked him since I didn’t want to push him. I could tell that something was bothering him and by the way his hands looked, it seemed like he’s been dealing with his own demons lately. His hands were all red and bruises, nails bitten. He didn’t respond but I was still waiting for an answer.

“You oh so called therapists don’t get it. I can’t be helped, can’t be fixed.  You try to help and fix me by talking but you don’t get it. The only thing that can help me is seeing the blood ooze out of a body while I stab it.” He snapped at me and glared with his black onyx eyes.

I was taken aback by his comment but I couldn’t quite say that I was surprised. The illnesses that were written in his file, some of them at least were showing right now, in front of my face and I still didn’t want to believe it. Loved him too much to believe it. Wait what?! What the fuck Rose?! Focus.

“Then stab me.” I spoke out before the little self improvmet speech could kick in. I dared him. Looked at him and dared him to stab me, I was playing with fire but I knew that if I had the same intensity, I couldn’t get burned.

He looked at me with the same intensity and I could tell that there was a battle in him. Between bad and good. His demons and angles. To do it or not. Until one team lost.

“I can’t.” He surrendered and lowered his head, not looking at me.

I nodded at him and got up.

“Get some rest and come to the office when you feel like it. If you don’t want it today, it can wait till Monday.” I said and left the room that served as a cell.