Never Let Me Go

I Want You (She's So Heavy)

As much as I wanted to spend the next few days in a chair staring blankly out the window, Bella Swan style, I revolted against the idea.

If I did that then he won. 

And we couldn't have that. I wouldn't let that happen, not anymore. 

Right now I'm shameless. I've lost too many nights sitting in and writing reports, essays and preparing documents for Auden. 

After the expedition, Soren gave everyone a few days off to recover and gather everything we needed to continue our theses. 

Over the past few days, I've really been getting to know the rest of my peers here. 

I started out with Ben and his group of friends, then moved on to the other women out here with me. 

In all honesty, all of them were rich and snotty.

They were smart though, I had to give them that. 

Hamilton and I stuck together through every friend group, he was still my best friend and lifeline but we agreed that it was time to let go and have a little fun. 

I was never the crazy type, I was always very composed and smart with my choices. But I was in my prime. A little party never hurt no one. 

After telling Hamilton about Auden and everything, he was more than understanding that I had to let loose.

That man had me wound way too tight. 

Today, a couple of girls had told Hamilton and I about a campfire party this evening and we agreed to go right away. 

Truth be told, we had never really gone off on the property and explored. So we thought now was a perfect time. 

Hamilton came barging into my room as per usual, and set up camp. 

Over our friendship, Hamilton had somehow bought and shipped me a whole bin of makeup and a new wardrobe. I never asked him for it, in fact I told him not to spend his money on me but he insisted. Sometimes going to the extreme saying that he wouldn't be seen with me in my scrappy clothes. 

I would've been mad but he kind of had a point. Besides my mom's dress, I had mostly sweats and dirty old jeans with me. again, I really thought I'd be out in a cabin slumming it this year, not living in luxury. 

After showering and giving myself a small pep talk, I sat in a chair and painted on some makeup the way Hamilton had taught me. 

Tonight was summer solstice meaning that the sun would reach its highest point in the sky. It wasn't much to celebrate but it was something. 

Tonight I opted for a dark glossy smoky eye. I was desperate for something dark and sexy for a change. Hamilton also gladly placed long black press-ons on my nails. 

I love how excited he got getting all dressed up. I had to admit it was pretty glamorous and therapeutic. The only part I didn't enjoy very much was going out after, it made me nervous being judged on my efforts. 

But tonight I didn't care. Or at least I would pretend I didn't.

It was time for some fun. 

I finished my makeup with a fully neutral mauve lip and turned to Hamilton. 

"Ahhh Brie! You look so sexyyy babe." he laughed. 

I laughed at my friend as he turned to me in the middle of doing his own makeup. 

Hamilton and I had a plan to match tonight, show everyone that we were soulmates. 

Plus, I thought it would be cute.