Never Let Me Go

Never Tear Us Apart

My heart beat hard and my cheeks burnt red. 

"What- What are talking about" I reached out and tried to put my hand on his chest but he moved away. 

"You're a distraction Aubriella" he said curtly. 

I recoiled from his hold, standing tall in front of him. 

"A distraction?" I asked appalled. 

I opened my mouth to speak but he continued. 

"Listen Aubriella. I like you. I like you too much and I could lose my job because of it. I talked it over with Soren who already seemed to be sniffing out what was happening between us and he thought it would be best if we stayed away from one another. You're a bright girl, I don't want to see you go down for this too." 

My face burned and my chest hurt. 

"No- No." I cried softly. 

"Aubriella-" he called out painfully. 

"NO! You don't get to kiss me and hold me and tell me how much you like me and then tell me that 'we cant do this'. That is cruel! You did this. I haven't done anything to you!" the tears welled in my eyes were now pouring out. 

Auden's face dropped. "I know Aubriella! I fucking know and your right! You haven't done anything, but I have. I kissed you and held you and gave you love because i can't help myself around you! You are my weakness." he spilled out. 

I went still. "Your weakness?." 

My face recoiled in disgust. 

"You talk about me as if I do nothing but hinder you. I've done nothing that has made you weak. Before I knew you, you were emotionless, cold and had hit a wall in your research. It was ME that helped you overcome all of that. You said so yourself. And now you have the gall to call me a distraction. I am not someone you can use and discard Auden." 

My face twisted and my stomach coiled. 

The emotions scraped through my chest harshly. 

The audacity of this man was fucking unbelievable. He had his fun and now he's done because it's getting too real for him?! 

"Aubriella" he moaned out. 

Acting as if he's hurt by this is ridiculous. 

"Soren explained it well to me, please listen." he begged. 

I crossed my arms. 

He sighed at my expression. "There is no room for success here. He explained that if this kept going on, we'd be distracted and concerned with one another the whole time instead of focusing on what was important. Now I don't want that for either of us. Please understand Aubriella." he pleaded. 

I looked him right in the face and scoffed. 

It almost amused me that he actually believed what was coming out of his mouth. 

"Okay. Just stop and listen carefully because I won't be repeating it again." I said too calmly. 

This man needed to think for himself. 

"For someone whos a genius, you are a fucking idiot Auden." I started. 

His jaw clenched at my brashness but I continued. 

I was too hurt to consider his feelings right now.

"Now I don't know what kind of bullshit Soren told you. But it is so clear to me now that you only want to succeed in this. God Auden, it's right in front of you. From the moment you saw me succeeding, you got Soren to push me into helping you. But when it came down to it, I was always your 'colleague' or a 'contributor' to your research when you know damn well that we were in this together." I said pushing words from the ball at him.  

"that's not true! it was sor-" 

"im not done!" I yelled. 

"I am strong and I am smart and the only thing I have ever done for you is push you in the right direction. I will not let you call me a fucking distraction, not now and not ever. Because I am more than that. You pushed me and pushed me, so hard that I had nothing to do but succeed and that scared you. I dont give a fuck what Soren says. get your shit together and learn how to think for yourself." I screamed. 

Auden shot up in front of me. 

"Can't you see that I'm doing this for us?! This is not just about what you want Aubriella, stop acting so spoiled." he yelled right back. 

My whole body twitched at his words. 

"You're doing this for yourself." I spoke quietly after a moment. 

Composing myself, I looked away from auden and grabbed the pair of sandels he'd left out for me. 

As fast as i could, I slid on the sandels and headed for the door. 

Before I made it, he grabbed ahold of my arm. 

I yelped out in pain. 

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!" I yelled gripping my throbbing arm. 

Auden went pale, but he didn't try and stop me again. 

Without looking back I ran out of the room and up onto the top deck. 

The whole place was empty. I took that moment to let my emotions catch up with me. 

Sobs that wracked my chest finally poured out freely. 

I gripped my neck and let myself fall into a kneel. 

Everything in my body ached and stung. It felt like my heart had be ripped out and stomped on. 

I've had boyfriends and I've been through breakups but nothing as real as this. 

He showed me love and hope and protectivness. I couldn't stop thinking about him, even when he wasn't in the room, my mind wondered about him all the damn time. We shared something special, I know he felt it. 

What was so cruel about the whole thing is that after giving me a taste of what we could be, he dropped me as if I was nothing to him the whole time. 

I should have never let him lay a damn hand on me.

My feelings were edged in so much anger. To think I let the likes of a man turn me into a grovelling mess. 

I was really crying on the deck of a shitty old boat because a man rejected me.

Pathetic. 

Slowly, I rose from my sad little puddle on the ground. 

My shoulders relaxed and my chest stopped heaving. 

I wiped my tears off my face and vowed not to let one more slip for him.