if only

chapter 5

Waking for the second morning in a row in a happy pile of limbs with Billie Eilish felt impossibly surreal. My bed was small, only a double, and every inch of her naked body was touching mine. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so comfortable with that much physical contact.

I stretched, and she stirred from under me, where she was tucked tight against my chest.

"Finally," she murmured. "Where the fuck is your bathroom?"

I laughed. "Across the hall. Right then left."

She shoved me the rest of the way off her, picked a shirt up off the floor and flung it over her head, and was out the door a second later.

While I waited for her, I stretched out some more, willing energy back into my muscles. I felt exhausted, and I had two classes and several assignments to work on that day.

As I went through my laundry list of things to do in my mind, the blankets pulled up to my nose, my roommate suddenly appeared in the doorway. She cleared her throat.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, startled.

"Yeah, I heard," she glowered at me. "In fact I heard it so loud last night I barely slept."

"Sorry, Ana," I said sheepishly. "We tried to keep it down..."

"Uh huh," she shook her head. "Maybe hers next time, cool?"

I nodded.

At that moment, Billie slid through the doorway, past Ana, back from the bathroom. She brushed against her on the way, and apologized under her breath. When she reached my bed, she slipped in comfortably beside me.

"Ana, right?" She asked sweetly, her face taking on an expression I'd seen only in interviews.

I eyed my roommate carefully; she was clearly floored by the beautiful celebrity now curled up in my arms. As I watched her, realization dawned across her face that this was the person who had screamed my name at 3 am. She swallowed visibly.

"Oh," she choked out, clearly flustered. "Yeah. That's me, ha!"

She was blushing and fidgeting while Billie stared her down with her sickly sweet celebrity-on-the-red-carpet look.

"Well, it's really nice to meet you, Ana. I'm Billie. Hopefully we can see each other more soon..."

Billie's powerful blue eyes flicked suggestively at the open doorway, and Ana's followed. Then she shook herself, getting it.

"Oh, guess I better leave you two, uh... to it."

"We'll keep it down, Ana. Sorry again."

"Oh, pfft..." she waved her hand at me like it was nothing. "Please, be as loud as you want."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Thanks. See you."

She backed out slowly, still staring at Billie, finally closing my door with a click.

The plastic look faded from Billie's face, and she laughed, shaking out her messy hair. I marveled at her.

"You're so famous."

She turned to me and placed her pale hand on my naked chest beneath the covers. "Huh?"

My heart rate sped up a little as her fingers trailed across my skin, landing on my nipple and squeezing gently. She sank into the bed beside me, snuggling up as tight as she could again. I needed to pee, too, but her mouth landed on my shoulder and I was much too distracted.

"You're like... a real, true celebrity. I didn't really think about it before. Not that deeply."

She chuckled and licked my collarbone. "Really? That's usually the first thing people think about."