if only

chapter 20

The next morning, I had class, and leaving her felt unbearable. So much so that I avoided waking her entirely, so I wouldn't have to say goodbye. I did, however, risk a quick kiss to her brow while she slumbered.

After class, Mags bowled me over in the hallway, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me hard on the mouth.

"MAGS, what the FUCK!"

"I knew you could do it, you cunt!" She grinned in my face, holding my cheeks.

I blinked while she squeezed me, then scrambled out of her grasp. "Get off me, psycho!"

She laughed and shoved me away gently, and I smoothed my hair back, grabbing my cap from the floor and settling it back on my head.

"I'm sorry, did I fuck up your dyke-wear?"

I glowered at her. "Pretty sure you can't say that word..."

She threw her arm around me as we walked out to the parking lot. "Who says, bitch? You don't know my orientation."

I shoved her arm off me and unlocked my car. "Well, you're no dyke, so you can't say it. Wait, what are you doing?"

She was sliding into the passenger seat of my car. "I bussed today and you're gonna drive me home. But first, I'm coming over to hang."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, you are, are you? Why'd you even bus in the first place?"

Mags' family were very well off, from what I understood, and when they'd asked her what kind of car she'd wanted for her 18th birthday, she'd said, without hesitation, a 2001 Volkswagen Beetle. It was lime green.

"I like to people watch," she grinned. "Just drive, bitch, I wanna see my girl!"

I shook my head and sighed. My late morning plans of seeing Billie Eilish naked flew out the passenger window.

"What am I saying! YOUR girl! You did it, you son of a bitch!"

. . . . .

Mags had to be the loudest person I knew, stomping into my apartment in her platform combat boots. I cringed at her extroverted voice level, knowing Billie was probably still asleep, but too sheepish to tell her to keep it down, knowing she'd mock me mercilessly for being soft.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as our friend darted down the hallway to my bedroom, ready to pounce on my probably still naked lover. I paused to take off my jacket and hang it at the door, then followed.

"Billiiiiiieeeeee!" She shrieked as she ran, and I took my time, letting her enjoy it.

Entering the room a few beats after her, I was met with an awkward exchange between the two childhood friends, instead of the laughter I had expected. I paused in the doorway, finding Mags stopped dead in her tracks, and Billie, clothed in my t-shirt and perched on the edge of my bed, her phone in her hand. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes slightly wild, and she seemed entirely out of breath.

"What's... up?" I faltered, confused.

I looked from Billie, a bewildered look still clinging to her features, to Mags, who looked... pissed.

At first I found it utterly impossible to read the situation. Mags appeared violently angry, as though she were ready to launch herself at her best friend, and not in the playful way she initially intended. I followed her rage-filled gaze back to Billie, noticing finally how she gripped her phone intensely, and kept glancing at the screen.

"Who were you talking to, Bil?" I inquired, suddenly sure that was the root cause of this very awkward situation. In the few seconds head start that Mags had on me, she'd heard or seen something I hadn't.