Shauna Diaries

Breaking Point

When I found out Shanterrica was pregnant my heart shattered. I never felt so much pain at once. I couldn't believe that Ray would betray me like that, especially when I stuck with him through all of his bullshit. The cheating, lies, and the hoes but I still would never do anything to purposely hurt him. After he broke the news to me he left. His ass couldn't even look me in my eyes and tell me, and when he left me balled up on the bed in tears I knew that was the last straw for me. I got my emotions together and began to pack my stuff because I knew I couldn't be with Ray anymore.

I was walking down the stairs with my last bag when Ray walked in the house.

"Where you going Shauna?" He said looking so confused.

"I'm leaving Ray, I can't do this shit nomore" I said feeling my heart break even more.

"Oh so now you leaving me? I thought you was down for me Shauna".

"I thought I was too but obviously that wasn't enough for you" I said, this time taking my ring off my finger and handing it to him.
  
   My heart was heavy. All I could think about was what I had just done. I just threw six years of my life away and now I felt empty. Am I wrong for leaving him? This is a rough time for him and me leaving has made it even harder for him. Should I turn this car around? No. Do you want to keep getting hurt? No. Do you love him? Yes. Do you think you could ever accept what he has done? No. But you do love him right? Yes. Fuck, my head is torn between love and lies.

I ended up at a hotel, alone and with a broken heart. I had only one person to blame for this and that was that bitch Shanterrica! I decided to hit her up so I could let some of this anger out.

The phone rang twice and someone answered.

"Hello?" A man answered.

"Ray, I know damn well that ain't you!"

"Why you calling Shan Shauna?"

"Why the fuck are you with that bitch anyways?"

The phone hung up.

I put on my shoes and went back to my house so I could beat both of their asses! When I got to the house I saw both of their cars. My heart sank, I instantly began to cry again. The tears wouldn't stop. I knew I had to do something I couldn't keep letting them have this control over me. I got out my car and headed towards the front door.

I knocked on the door and she answered. As soon as I saw her face I punched her right in the mouth. She screamed as she fell back. Ray ran downstairs and saw what a mess I had created.

"Shauna what the fuck is wrong with you?!" He said helping her up.

"Fuck her, and as a matter of fact fuck you for helping that hoe!" I said getting madder by the second.

"You stupid bitch, mad cause yo' nigga fucking around on you. You need to be swinging on him while you punching me bitch" Shanterrica said standing up and spitting blood on the floor.

"Oh bitch you can have him, I don't even want his ass you sideline hoe!"

"Get the fuck out my house Shauna!" Ray yelled.

"Your house? Who you think helped you get this house? This shit is just as much mines as it is yours! Fuck you mean?"

"Fuck you bitch, look you pissing me off. Either get the fuck out or I'm gone drag you out. Which one you want?"

"Ohhhhhh, so I'm a bitch now? Now I see why you two are together because both of you hoes stupid! When you went to New York I fucked your bestfriend with your dumb ass!"

"What the FUCK did you just say?!" He said walking towards me.

"You heard me Ray! I fucked Twon!" I yelled as I put both hands on my hip.

   Ray's face turned red, he grabbed me and pushed me through the open door. Thank God for grass because the way I flew and landed I probably would have cracked my skull. He slammed the door, and there I was alone again.

     I found myself in my car again, driving. Alone. This time I knew it would stay that way. There was no way in hell Ray would ever forgive me, I wouldn't have forgiven me either. I shouldn't have told him the way I did but I was hurt and angry. Love can drive you to some extremes.
      I had to have been in the shower for about a hour because I was just standing there in a trance. My entire day kept replaying over and over. I couldn't get over it, I wish I would have done it differently. I got out the shower because my eyes were getting heavy, I had to get some sleep and get my mind off everything. As soon as I put my robe on I heard a knock at the door. Room service took forever with my cheese cake. I opened the door and there was Ray with my wallet in his hand.

"You dropped it in the driveway" he said handing it to me.

"Thank you for bringing it" I grabbed it and closed the door, but before I could he put his foot in the way.

"What Ray?"

"I still love you Shauna. Even though you fucked my bestfriend I still love you with all my heart. I fucked plenty of other girls behind your back so I probably deserve that. I lie to you and I put you through the worst shit but you gotta believe me when I say I am so sorry. That's all I needed to say."

"And I'm sorry too, I hope you and your hoe enjoy your lives together"

Ray pushed open the door and kissed me. I was so mad at him but I loved him so much. I hopped on him and he carried me to the bed. We were kissing for about ten minutes when he untied my robe and started unbuckling his pants. I knew what would happen next and I wasn't about to fight it either. In the middle of it all I found myself crying, then I felt a tear fall on my chest this time from Ray.

After we were done we layed there staring at the ceiling. Ray leaned over the bed and started rambling with his pants I got mad all over again.

"I know you not about to leave me Ray!"

"No, I had to get something chill girl" he rolled back over and handed me back my ring.