Shauna Diaries

Truths

"I didn't choose this lifestyle it chose me, nobody wakes up one morning and says 'hey, I wanna be gay for the rest of my life'. That's not how it works Shauna. I never wanted to be gay, and I damn sure never wanted to hide it for forty three years, but I had to, I had to protect my name and protect you. I always loved yo' mama, from the day I met her in that club I knew she would be my bitch until I died and I know I wasn't much of a daddy but it was only because I was dealing with my own demons. I was addicted to different drugs, sex, and I was gay. I couldn't be a good man to your mama because I was too busy fucking other men, and I know it's hard to hear now but-" he said before I cut him off.

"I get it daddy, I really do." I said trying to end this conversation because it made me sick to my stomach.

"No you don't, let me finish Shauna. What I'm trying to say is I never wanted you to find out this way and neither did your mama. It's that bitch Kacy's fault, if she would have never looked in my file at the clinic and told everybody nobody would know."

"Hold up, you telling me KACY started this?!"

"Hell yeah! That bitch always had it out for me and her mama did too back in the day, that's why I didn't want y'all living in Lake View."

"Daddy what did you do to Kacy and her mama to make them hate you?"

"Kacy is your sister, I didn't want your mama to know so I never claimed her. She knows and her grandma knows, I'm just happy you never hung around her so she wouldn't put all that nonsense in your head like she did the whole city."

"What about her mama daddy, what did you do to her?"

"I don't wanna talk about that Shauna."

"TELL ME! I need to know daddy!"

"She got on drugs and blamed it all on me, she said if I would have left your mama to be with her and Kacy she wouldn't have started shootin' up. I told that bitch fuck her and I wouldn't ever leave yo' mama and she killed herself! Bitch wrote my name on a piece of paper next to her body and everything Shauna. And that's why Kacy hates me so much, not because I wasn't in her life as a father, but because she feel like I took her mama away. That's the truth."

"DADDY OH MY GOD! Why the hell didn't I know this before? I grew up with Kacy and this whole time she knew she was my fucking sister! Daddy I gotta go talk to her, unlike you I like to DEAL with my problems and mistakes, not brush them off and act like they don't exist!"

I left the house mad as hell. My head was pounding, I couldn't think straight, all that was on my mind was how Kacy had manipulated me. I thought she was a friend, somebody I could talk to, and somebody who understood me. But all along she was my secret sister who hated me and just wanted to fuck up my life the way daddy did hers! Once again my parents mistakes were being taken out on me, if this was what I got when I came home this was definitely my last visit for good!
I called Kacy over to my hotel because I didn't want to go out in public and talk about all of this, I wanted her to lay everything out on the table, and from what I heard from my daddy this would definitely need to be in private. She got there around 7:15, I had just gotten off the phone with Ray. He said he was on the road going somewhere and he would be there in about two hours, I really could care less because of everything that I was worried about, but right when I hung up I heard a knock at the door.

"Hey Kacy." I said welcoming her in.

"Wassup Shauna?" She said walking in and sitting in a chair. "You sounded like something was bothering you when you called."

"It is something bothering me, a lot actually."

"What is it? I'm all ears."

"Kacy how could you manipulate and lie to me? I know everything, I talked to my daddy and he told me how you are the one who told everybody he has aids, and you probably the one who told Pete too! You knew that we was sisters and you FUCKED ME! What kind of sick, twisted ass bitch are you?"