i made that art above this btw (im very good) (very)
Tsukasas POV
its been a month since wonderlands x showtime disbanded and i still feel like shit
i just want to die but i also want to live. its weird
ive been crying on my pillow for an hour at this point
people started bullying me at school for it too. i heard that nene and rui told their friends which told their friends which told their friends until the entire school knew. the only friend that i have now is akito. emu still didnt unblock me but thats because she forgot and doesnt hate me, right? shes always been nice...
i look up for a while. theres the knife ive been using to cut myself for the past few weeks.
i pick it up
its shiny
cut
i dont feel anything anymore.
the red liquid runs down my arm
i feel like dying
i touch the wound. my finger is dirty now.
ill wash it later.
i pick up the knife again
"Oni-channnn!!!" the door flung open. it was Saki. shit. i dont want her to worry about me
i quickly covered my wound with my sleeve and tried to hide the bloodied finger and the knife
"Yeah?" i quickly put on my happy face. its all fake.
"Mom wants you to buy groceries, she said you havent gone out in like a week or something."
"I will in a second. give me a minute."
"Alright then thats all, bye!"
"Oh right and before you go make sure to knock next time."
"Youre fault for not locking it~" she stuck her toungue out before leaving and making sure to not close the door as a joke
i chuckled. average sibling conversation i guess...
my face immediately went blank. this happiness is all an act.
i got up and locked the door before getting out my knife again
cut
cut
cut
c u t
c u t
c u t
c u t
c u t
i cut myself 9 times. i feel refreshed.
time to go buy groceries. ill come back and sleep after that.
...
its so loud outside... i wish everyone could shut up
...
rui and nene is here too. i dont care
...
rui and nene noticed me and started whispering. i dont feel anything
...
i feel like the world is against me right now
...
some strangers recognised me and started whispering. i want to die
...
everyone started walking away. i can finally buy these groceries in peace
...
everythings so loud. i feel like im gonna pass out. maybe its because of the cuts earlier
...
i feel like people are avoiding me
...
im done buying groceries. i dont want to be here any longer
...
im at home again. finally
"Mom! im back!" i say walking in trying to sound happy while putting the bags on the table before going up. im going to sleep now. im not hungry anyway.
tomorrow is monday. time to suffer again.
word count: 500
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PhonyＩTsukasa/Ruikasa angst
Fanfictionfirst time writing a story so its gonna be bad :sob: TW！Mentions of blood, self-harm, suicide, swearing, bullying, abuse, etc. Theres not enough stories that end with tsukasa unaliving himself and im sad Tsukasa finds himself scolding Nene one day a...
