Tsukasas POV
its monday.
its the day i move into the dorms with Akito and Rui.
i woke up and got up like usual. saki noticed how nervous i was. she doesnt know about the rui thing still because i kept it hidden. if only she knew.
"Oni-chan! why so nervous? im sure your dorms will be fine! you have Rui and Akito after all!"
im pretty much on the verge of crying.
we left like usual. i saw nene and rui talking again. probably talking about me and how much i suck. i avoided them.
school was like usual. classes were boring and breakfast and lunch was trash. i skipped. i could eat later anyway. i went to my dorm for the first time and safe to say rui was not exactly happy to see me. i just ran into my room lmao. akito came a little later which gave me the confidence to actually talk to rui because he was looking at me like he wanted to beat me up and throw me out the window.
...
i tried to speak to him.
.
"go away tsukasa, i dont want to talk to you."
he was blunt.
"but please" i tried to get him to talk
he ignored me.
he wasnt exactly ready to talk with me again. he holds grudges really tight i guess. its been a month and like 2 weeks. oh wait now that i think about it thats not that long. i guess it was his passion after all. i wish he didnt hate me
i sighed and walked back to my room. i had a small chat with Akito too and hes nice so im glad i got him as a roommate.
i slammed my door shut and locked it. i want to die
i want to scream.
...
it was muffled by my pillow luckily
i looked at my knife lying on the table. i smiled
cut.
it was bleeding again. it hurt more than usual.
cut.
ill stop here. the blood is flowing down
...
it hurts.
perhaps i should take a walk.
...
...
...
im outside
sigh
ill go to the park nearby
...
i sat down on a bench. now what?
...
im bored. i feel like crying. i want to die. but i cant let Akito and Saki down. theyre the only reason im still alive.
i wish things didnt turn out the way it did.
i looked at the sky.
i saw a butterfly.
Word count: 411
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PhonyＩTsukasa/Ruikasa angst
Fanfictionfirst time writing a story so its gonna be bad :sob: TW！Mentions of blood, self-harm, suicide, swearing, bullying, abuse, etc. Theres not enough stories that end with tsukasa unaliving himself and im sad Tsukasa finds himself scolding Nene one day a...
