Cottage Chronicles

Blue

~

I thought the oceans were angry,

I waited.

I thought she had the wheel,

I waited.

I took your word when you said 'this time'

I waited.

I was silent.

I was silenced, I waited.

Then I lash out on her,

Blaming her for the wreck,

Thinking she had the wheel,

She drove this way-

But no. It was you.

I wasn't crazy for what I felt.

I wasn't mad when I was angry.

When I was frustrated.

You had the wheel,

Your callous, cold blood-

I wonder if it's turned blue

From your lack of humanity.

I blame my mother, I blame myself

I blame my brother,

I blame my friends.

All the while, the killer-

It was you.

And I can't defend you in my own eyes,

Every word you said was a lie.

And a promise with no intent of being kept

Is a lie.

So Merry Christmas to me,

I know now my ways weren't wrong,

My expectations weren't baseless.

I've found the robbers now- you and them.

It wasn't self sabotage, it was a robbery.

And I don't need to take back what's stolen,

God shall give me what's mine.

A happy new year to me I know,

You're not mine. 

~