Bini: In Parallel Universe

XX: Did You Fight For Her?

Aiah's POV

Did you fight for her at all? The question that has been asked to me indirectly over the years. 

Yes?

Maybe?

No.

Ask me again right now and surely I won't have a concrete answer.

I am a woman who knows how to stand for herself and for the people she truly cares about, but when it comes to her, when it comes to us, that woman simply vanishes, as if she hadn't existed in the first place. 

Mikha and I knew each other way before we became part of BINI. We had been teammates in several dance competitions. She was this timid girl, but when she dance, damn, you'd be in awe.

"Did you fight for her?" No, but she did.

We were in Star Hunt when our friendship started to become something we both didn't expect. On training days, weekdays, even vacations, we were together. So, us falling for each other was inevitable. 

Falling in love was the easy part, but admitting to ourselves was the hardest.

There were so many nuisances in our lives. We were both trainees and both had boyfriends. That's why fighting for her, fighting for us, was never an easy thing to do, or was never an option. 

I tried to dismiss the feelings, because if I acted on them, then I'd be cheating, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I solely focused on my training and him. 

I didn't even tell her that I loved her; we just continued being friends until we debuted as BINI.

But, when the love I had for her was so strong that anytime soon my chest would burst because of it, I decided to tell her. I said everything.

I told her that she could fight for me but that I couldn't fight for her. What a stupid thing to say.

She tried; however, I did not. I was so confident that se would not get tired fighting by herself, but even the strongest ones do have limitations.

Napagod siya eh.

Every time I saw her with someone else, every time she was happy but not because of me, every time she celebrated her milestone with him, I felt every ounce of pain.

Between the two of us, I was always the first. The first one to fall in love, the first one to admit my feelings, and the first one to let go because I was a coward, and hell, stupid.

She was ready to move mountains for me, but I was not. I guess I will never be.

I did not fight for her.

Now, I'm with someone else, and no effort nor time would bring back the missed chances I had to fight for our love.

I still love her, but not enough to break everything I have just to be with her.

Ask me again right now and surely I won't have a concrete answer.

"What was it like being with her?"

It's Mikha. I wanted to do everything with her. I wanted my future to be with her, but I never wanted to fight for her. Duwag ako.

I guess love is not enough.