Bini: In Parallel Universe

LVII: Jholet: Damn, I Can't Have Her

Colet traced the rim of her iced tea glass, watching the condensation snake down its side. Jhoanna, across from her, was animatedly describing her weekend surfing trip, her laughter like wind chimes in a coastal breeze. Colet should have been happy for her friend, the joy practically radiating off Jhoanna. But a familiar ache bloomed in her chest, a tangled mess of longing and envy.

They'd been friends since childhood, confided in each other through scraped knees and teenage heartbreaks. But somewhere along the way, Colet's feelings morphed into something deeper, a silent adoration that gnawed at her insides. Jhoanna, oblivious, remained blissfully unaware, enveloped in her own world of crashing waves and sun-kissed skin.

Colet had tried to hint, a lingering touch here, a stolen glance there. But Jhoanna, ever the oblivious friend, would just ruffle Colet's hair and talk about the cute barista she'd seen. Each rejection, unintentional as it was, chipped away at Colet's fragile hope.

Tonight, the ache was sharper. Jhoanna was talking about a new girl she'd met at the beach, her eyes sparkling with a different kind of excitement. Colet forced a smile, the taste of iced tea suddenly metallic in her mouth.

"Sounds amazing," Colet croaked, the simple words scraping raw against her throat.

Later, as they walked home, the weight of unspoken words hung heavy between them. The streetlights cast Jhoanna's shadow long and distorted, a constant reminder of the distance between them.

"I swear to God! Aiah is so beautiful. Thanks for listening," Jhoanna said, squeezing Colet's arm. "You're the best."

Colet swallowed the lump in her throat. "Anytime," she rasped, the words a hollow echo of the truth.

Back in her room, staring at the ceiling, Colet let the tears fall. The frustration, the longing, the suffocating knowledge that Jhoanna would never see her that way - it all came crashing down.

This wasn't a story with a grand gesture or a happily-ever-after. It was a quiet ache, a love harbored in the shadows, a constant reminder of the person Colet could never have. It was a 'damn, I can't have her,' a love story destined to remain unwritten.

--

The spray of the ocean lingered on Jhoanna's skin as she recounted the weekend's surfing adventures to Colet. Colet, her ever-faithful friend, leaned in, a smile playing on her lips. Yet, a flicker of something deeper, a flicker Jhoanna couldn't quite decipher, danced in Colet's eyes.

Jhoanna shoved the feeling aside. It wasn't the first time she'd caught a glimpse of that intensity. Colet had always been there, a constant presence in her life. Jhoanna cherished her fiercely, their bond forged through years of shared secrets and laughter. But lately, those stolen glances, the lingering touches - a shiver would run down Jhoanna's spine, a confusing mix of warmth and panic blooming in her chest.

The truth was, Jhoanna couldn't have Colet. It wasn't a matter of not wanting to. It was a tangled mess of fear and societal expectations that coiled around her heart. Jhoanna craved normalcy, a life built on a foundation everyone understood. Could she build that kind of life with Colet? Doubt gnawed at her.

So, Jhoanna distracted herself. The weekend surf trip, the new girl at the beach - a whirlwind of activity to chase away the unsettling questions lurking beneath the surface. But the ache remained, a dull throb whenever Colet's gaze lingered a beat too long.

Walking home hand-in-hand, Jhoanna felt the weight of Colet's silence. A part of her yearned to reach out, to understand the depths of that unspoken emotion. Yet, the fear held her back. What if it wasn't what she hoped for? What if it shattered the fragile balance of their friendship?

Squeezing Colet's arm, Jhoanna offered a grateful smile. "You're the best," she said, the words heavy with unspoken truths.

Later, lying awake in bed, Jhoanna stared at the moonlit ceiling. The image of Colet, her face etched with a sadness Jhoanna couldn't explain, replayed in her mind. A part of her longed to bridge the gap, to confess her own turmoil. But the fear, the suffocating fear of losing Colet altogether, kept her tongue tethered.

Jhoanna wasn't oblivious; she just wasn't brave enough. This silence, this dance of unspoken emotions, became their own painful love story - a story of what could have been, held hostage by fear. It was a heartbreaking truth, a love story destined to remain unspoken, a love neither of them could quite grasp, let alone have.