I'm So Sorry

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I pulled with all my strength in attempt to open the window. I banged on it in hopes it would pop open. No luck. I turned to Georg and Gustav, the moonlight above us reflecting off their faces. "The darn thing is locked!" I stage whispered, to the two boys below me. "You're joking." Georg whispered back, I shook my head frantically. "Well would you look at the time it's getting pretty late our parents must be worried." Gustav yawned, grabbing onto Georg's hand as he began to walk off with him. "WHAT! NO, GET BACK HERE!" I yelled, "Nighty, Night Y/N." Gustav waved, "NO." I yelled, signaling the two to come back. The two walked off. I could see Georgs shoulders raise up and down. A habit of his when he laughed. The two got in the red car. The engine roared to life as the two drove away. "I HATE YOU!" I screamed, watching the car go down the street.

I covered my mouth quickly. Shoot. Hopefully she didn't hear me from inside. I had no choice no, my plan failed. I had to walk in. What would I say? What would I do? Would I apologize? No she would apologize first. Wait. This is kinda my fault though....No it's not Y/N you told her how you felt and that's all that matters. But I did interrupt her at her meeting. All of the planning in my head made me forget I was up that high on the branch of a tree. I looked back down seeing how high up I was. I took a deep breath sliding myself off the branch slowly coming down the exact way Georg instructed me too but backwards. I slid down the tree holding onto it tight feeling my cheek get scraped by its hard bark. It stung for a moment but slowly went away. I began to walk around the house. Thinking of what I would do. I made my way to the front to see the lights still on. I stood infront of the door. I began to play with my hands. Maybe it was best Georg and Gustav left or else they know I might have made it more difficult to just go in. I hope that's why they left me up there. I took a deep shaky breath. I'll just let the words come to me. Naturally. Yeah.

I'm okay. I'll be fine. She can't he mad forever. I walked slowly yet surely to the front of the porch. Stepping up the steps till I was infront of the door. I turned the handle feeling it open. She left it open. Why? I walked in slowly closing the door behind me to see my mother on the couch looking from the grey carpet on the ground to me. "Mom..." I started off, I didn't know what to say. What was right or wrong in that moment. She looked at me. Sorrow and frustration in her eyes. All at once. She ran towards me hugging my tightly. I flinched at her touch. Why was she hugging me? Wasn't I in the wrong here? Why wasn't she yelling or screaming at me? Why is she starting to cry, and tell me in between sobs how much loves me and how much I mean to her? Why is she trembling as she admits how wrong she was of not listening to me and what I had to say? Why is my body growing weak? Why am I hugging her back as tears stream down my face? Why are we both on the ground on our knees hugging each other? Why is she apologizing to me? Why am I accepting it?

Why is my chest stinging and my nose running. "I'm so sorry, baby.." she cried, hugging my cradling me back and forth. I held onto her tighter leaning my head in the crook of her neck. " I know." Tears began to fall down my eyes onto her neck. "I promise I love you, with all my heart. I'm just so tough on you because I don't want you to see you get hurt." She pasued, "When things don't go right I don't want to see you disappointed. And wasting your time worrying about things. I wasted my time becoming disappointed. Relying on others." She rubbed my back, "I know you're a strong girl, and you do try your best." I began to sob hard my breaths becoming stifled, "I love that about you, you're do amazing. Believe me. I just can't risk seeing you get torn down by others." She took a breath. "Getting torn down by others who can't handle your best." She hugged me tighter. "This wasn't the right way to go about it though..." "And I'm so sorry, I feel like I've been more of a child than your mother. Not being there for you and distancing myself from you, growing cold." She began to cry more. "I'm so sorry my baby, I'm sorry."

My chest grew tighter. I think in those moments besides the time I got in the fight at my old school was the first ever time she cared. She showed that she cared about me. To this day I pray that she meant every single world. I loved my Mother I could never hate her. Or anyone. In that moment I didn't know whether to hate myself or the poll that had a big effect on my mother and I's relationship. She pulled me away cupping her cold hands over my cheeks. She smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. I smiled trying not to break down again. She got up offering me her hand. I grabbed it wiping away tears with my other hand. "You smell like..." "chicken nuggets" I questioned, she nodded laughing, it was so strange seeing my mom laugh like that. Laugh out of relief and happiness. "Gustav and Georg?" She asked, I nodded. She smiled, "They're better mom's than me." She smiled, "They're good friends, Y/N..." I nodded, "You're lucky to have them with you." I nodded, "For sure... I don't know what I would do without them." I shrugged, she nodded. "Well, why don't you head to bed now it's pretty late." I nodded, I began to walk up the stairs. "Hey Mom?" I turned around to see her at the bottom of the stairs. "Yes?" "I love you.." she smiled, "I love you more." I walked upstairs tears stinging the corners of my eyes. She loved me more. I took off my shoes by my bed placing them next to it. I would wear the same ones tomorrow. I looked on my table to see my phone. Shoot. I had left it. I swore I took it with me. I opened the pink rhinestone covered phone to see 2 new messages.

From: G-Man
Georg: How'd it go? Hope all went well. Didn't mean to leave you in the dust. Gustav was determined to go..Something about a science project you guys had? I don't know. Lol.

What a liar.

I opened the other to see who it was from. From: Goose-Stav

Goose-Stav: That's what you get for throwing your rock farther than mine. Have fun hanging with the monkeys. 🌳 🐒

I stared at his text.
To: Goose-Stav

Y/N: I'll tell your aunt I said hi don't worry 🥰xoxo

I closed my phone. Turning off the lights quickly running to my bed. Sure I'm 15 years old but you don't know what be lurking out there. And I don't wanna know. I turned on my lamp on the side of my bed pulling the covers over me. I woukd have to change my sheets tomorrow. I groaned at the thought. Oh well. That's a future me problem. I closed my eyes thinking about my day. Today was a very... interesting day. One minute two twins walk in your class. You get in trouble and have to call home. The next minute you befriend. Next minute you're singing in the car with one of the brothers. Then you get in a fight with your mom. Your 2 bestfriends climb up your tree and take you to mcdonalds and to a lake you never knew existed now. They leave you stranded in a tree. Then you and your mom are hysterically crying. That's what I call a good day. I turned to the side. Thinking about the twins. I sat there for a moment though. I really did begin to wonder. Why did they move schools?

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