What if... snowbaird

This was love, right?

Some months had already passed, I was living in peace, finally after everything I had gone through I had peace. The cabin had some books so i could actually entertain myself but the best thing was the old guitar I had left there. Every day I would have the same routine, It helped me feel in control of the situation I was going through.

I would wake up at around 8am or what I thought that time was, there was an old clock at the cabin but I wasn't sure it really worked. After waking up I would go and get the leftovers from the previous day, I would purposely leave food for the next day, It would make my morning easier because I didn't need to catch more food with an empty stomach. After eating, I would grab the guitar and work on some songs, that would help me get distracted from reality. I would then go catch some more food for lunch, dinner and breakfast and would cook as soon as I started to get really hungry.

I'm adapting well. Thats what I thought to myself. Singing helped me not loose my voice cause of how lonely it was out there. To be able to keep speaking, I would go to the animals and pretend to have conversations with them. Sometimes I would start to feel like I was going crazy, I mean I was speaking with birds and butterflies.

One day, as I started to strum my guitar, words started to come out of my mouth with no intention of stopping.

Morning his place, burnt toast Sunday
You keep his shirt,
He keeps his word
And for once you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts
One step, not much,
But it said enough
I could't understand why I was saying that, I was alone and had no one to love. However the words kept coming out.
You kiss on sidewalks
You fight, then you talk
One night, he wakes
Strange look on his face
Pauses, then says
"You're my best friend"
And you knew what it was
He is in love...
A sudden snap happened in my brain, I realised who I was talking about. I was making up my fantasy of what could've been, what should've been. As I sang I could't hold my tears back, I had realised how much I missed Coriolanus and started to wonder if I had done the right thing by running away, maybe we could've talked it out, maybe he wasn't ready to accept what he had done to Sejanus yet, maybe, just maybe, we could've have had our happy ending.

I started to reflect on what I had composed, it was beautiful, yet, it left me wondering if any of what we had lived together was real. I was left confused about what I had been calling love. I could't stop wondering if he had really loved me, or if he just used to and left me because he didn't need me anymore.