What if... snowbaird

False God

It didn't take long for Barb Azure to realize I wasn't listening to anything she had been saying.
"Lucy Gray, are you okay?" she asked, looking at me dead serious in the eyes. I realized I could not lie to her. She has always had the ability to look right through me.

"No," I said with a worried look. "I'm late." She looked at me, not understanding what I meant by that. "What do you mean by late? I don't get it." I gave her the look; it took her less than a second to realize what I actually meant. "Oh," she said. She was pale, as if she had seen a ghost or something that really freaked her out. "How long?" she said as she grabbed my hands, trying to show how much she cared.

"Four weeks, I think." I stared at her with a really worried look. I felt like I was going to cry; this couldn't be happening. I'm seventeen. It can't be possible. Then I remembered we hadn't been exactly safe all the time; the probabilities of it happening were really low.
"Oh my god, Lucy Gray, you have to tell him," she said, talking to me as if it were practically confirmed. Of course, I would tell him. But first, I had to know if it was real.
"I know it's been four weeks, but I don't know for sure if it's true. It could just be wrong math or maybe I'm just late. I've lived too long in the woods to be this fertile. We have actually tried to be safe, but sometimes it slips up," I said, trying to process what was happening. It could be just a scare. I wouldn't know for sure until I did the test.

"I'm getting you a test," she said, looking at me dead serious, knowing I was still in denial. I didn't judge her; my mind still told me I was just a little late. It didn't matter.
"Fine, but remember people can't know."

"Of course! Who do you think I am?" she said, acting offended while trying to crack a joke in an attempt to brighten the mood.

Two days later"Lucy Gray! Lucy Gray!" said Barb Azure as she entered my room. "Girl, wake up. It's been two days; you have to take the test." She tried to get me out of bed, but she only got groans and complaints in response. "Ughhhh, wait, it's too early for this." She had been telling me to take the test since she got it that afternoon, but the truth was I wasn't ready to accept it. What happened if it came back positive? We were still kids; Coryo and I were not even close to being married. For god's sake, we weren't even engaged! People in the Capitol were still struggling to accept me as their 'first lady'. "Lucy Gray, please take it. Whatever happens, I'll be here by your side. It will be okay. If he really loves you, he will be happy; he will help you. If he sends you back here, then we will help you, and if you want to, we will never have to talk about him again. But please, take the test. Not just for me, but for you and Coriolanus." 

She was looking at me so softly, and it just made me remember how much I loved the covey. I took a deep breath and realized she was right. I couldn't keep fighting it off, even though I already knew that the test was gonna come back positive. I needed a visual confirmation, and it couldn't wait any longer. "Okay, I'll take it. But Barb Azure, please stay with me. If I'm being honest, I'm scared. I already know what that test is gonna say; I can feel it in me. I'm not ready; I don't feel ready.

 What will happen if he doesn't want it? I love him, Barb Azure. I'm not sure I could ever leave him, and I know that is wrong, and I can't keep thinking that because he's Capitol, and they have a tendency to not accept district people. But, at the same time, I can feel he's different. But what if he really doesn't want it anymore? What if he hates me? What if he thinks I did this on purpose and dumps me? I mean, he can do whatever he wants; he's the president," I said, with tears ricocheting from my eyes. 

"Oh Honey, That won't happen, and if it does, then you know you always have your family back home. Mayor Lipp already stopped tormenting us so it will be easier to hide you, or we can all just go to the woods and live there like we had planned as kids," she said, talking to me with such sweetness that just made me love her more than what I already did. Even though I was really scared, I had to do it. I looked at her and nodded. She grabbed the test and gave it to me. As I stepped into the bathroom to take the test, I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. Everything in my life was about to change with just one silly little stick.

"What does it say?" asked Barb Azure as I stepped out of the bathroom with the test in my hands.

"I don't want to look at it," I replied as tears started to form in my eyes. "Oh sweetie, get over here. Give it to me; I'll look first if it makes you feel better," said my cousin while holding me in her arms and stroking my hair. "I'm scared; please look at it first," I said while bawling my eyes out on her shoulders, leaving teardrop stains on her shirt. "Okay, that's fine. I'll look at it," she said as she took the test from my hands. At that moment, I knew nothing could prepare me for the words that were about to come out of her mouth.

"Oh my God," she said, looking straight into my eyes. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't right; the test was broken. It couldn't be right; I am too young. I'm not ready. "No. Barb Azure, what does the test say? Please just answer me," I replied, already knowing the answer but not wanting to accept it until it came out of her mouth. "You're pregnant," she said as she slowly handed me the test to take a look myself. "I'm gonna be a mom?" I said as I started to cry again, but this time it was different. It was real. "I'm gonna be a mom!" I screamed to Barb Azure with some excitement in my voice. This was real; I had a tiny human growing inside of me. "I know. Come here, darling," I went into her arms, and we both laughed and cried at the same time. I was gonna have a kid. Me and Coryo, we were gonna be parents. The only thing left was for me to figure out how to tell him and the rest of the Covey.

Later that evening, I had decided to tell the rest of the covey what I had found out that morning, well, everyone but Maude Ivory. With her, I decided I would wait until my next visit to make sure the baby was actually healthy and Coryo did accept it as his own. Most of the Covey had the same reactions and opinions, the number one being on how I would tell Coryo about this. I mean, he would not be exactly thrilled, but if he really loved me, we would make it work. I was growing a child inside of me! Even if I'm too young, I still wanted it to grow with a present mother and father, in the Capitol where it would have many more opportunities than in the districts or in the woods. My only worry was for it to get reaped for The Hunger Games. Even as a Capitol child, he was still considered district because of me, and until Coriolanus's plan came into action, it would be at high risk of being reaped, even if its father was the president.

I decided to go to bed and try to rest as much as possible, considering the events that have taken place these last couple of days. I needed to find a way to tell my boyfriend we were expecting a child. Oh, and I also had to find a way to tell the whole Capitol, considering the guy who got me pregnant is the president of the whole country. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't turn off the opinions people could have. I'm seventeen, turning eighteen in a couple of months, and Coriolanus is twenty-one. We aren't married, and he is the youngest president in the history of Panem. What if the Capitol turns on him, and he leaves me as a consequence? What if he is evicted from the presidency? What if I ruined his political career by forgetting my pills once and forgetting the damn rubber? As my thoughts started drifting away and I started to drift into sleep, I couldn't help but think about how my life could be, living happily ever after with the love of my life after changing the world.