What if... snowbaird

So it goes...

Authors note: OMGGG I know it's been so longggg but I just entered back to school and have been struggling a bit, I will really try to update as quick as possible but I can't promise a lot. Just a warning that this chapter contains explicit-ish sexual scenes so if that's not your thing then just skip scene, I promise you won't miss anything. With that being said, enjoyyyy!

Dear Barb Azure, It's been a couple of weeks since I wrote "You are in love", Coryo still has not heard the song nor knows of its existence. Right now, he is in some 'special meeting', He has not shut up about it all week so I really hope it's actually important to where we stand now and not like some other meetings were he has told me the same and they were about Capitol properties, not that they don't matter, but I was hoping for something much better. Apart from all his Presidential meetings and just all his work in general, things have been kind of great between us, i really, really love him and I have no fear in letting him know that. When we are together is as if we are one, I have seriously been incomplete without him, I have found my other half, My love, My Coryo, and its the best thing that could've happened to me. Anyway, how are things with you and the covey, you have got no idea how much I miss you and wish I could be with you, but as you know I cannot do that until things at the capitol are suitable for you to come to visit or for me to go to the districts without wanting to be killed. I love you and miss you so much.

L.G.B.
As I wrote down to my dear cousin about my life here, I started to realise something really bad. I missed my family, I missed them too much, we were always together and then the capitol had to go and ruin everything we had built to get to where we were. I knew it wasn't Coriolanus' fault, but still, he was a part of what I don't believe in and even if he was trying his best to fix things, people were suffering because of the laws of the capitol and him being the president could actually make some quiete changes and rearrangements for people in the districts to have easier access to food and clothes.

"No no no no no no, this can't be happening," I murmured to myself as I realised what I wanted to do, I didn't really know how to explain this to Coryo, I was afraid of what he might think. "I can't go back there, not now, not ever, not when everyone there thinks I am dead, it has to stay that way for as long as It can." I thought to myself silently while trying my best to ignore whatever other thoughts I had. "This cards are already a privilege, In the woods I had nothing compared to what my options are now." I took a deep breath and tried my best to enjoy the rest of the day.

As I walked out of the studio, I heard Coryo's door open, I was scared of what might had happened at the meeting, I turned and there he was facing me. He looked worried which made me confused and much more terrified of the words that could come out of his mouth.

"Im sorry." He said as he took a deep breath, "I tried, I really did but I wasn't able to change their minds. People still think of the districts as trash and as our life-long enemies, they hate them and don't want them near the Capitol." As I heard those words leave Coryo's mouth I realised I really needed to tell him what I was feeling, We couldn't lie to each other again, If I did I would loose him and I couldn't handle loosing more people that I really cared about.

"I want to go home," I said as tears started to form in my eyes. His face had an instant change from disappointed in himself to sad and confused.

"What? You want to bail now? After everything that I have done for you, everything I have done for us?!" I could see he was getting mad, I would too. We were supposed to do this together and I'm telling him I want to leave him and go back to where I'm not safe nor wanted.

"I miss my family Coriolanus! Everyone is leaving and everyone is dying! I can't keep living like your princess and acting unbothered when my family is in district 12 dying! Coriolanus out off all people in this world I expected you to understand!" I said as I got closer to him holding his hands and looking into his eyes. I could see him trying to look away from me but he couldn't, he was loosing the fight to the tears forming in his eyes as I told him my final decision. "I want to go home. I can't keep living here with you and not helping my family."