AAKHIR PYAAR HOGAYA

CHAPTER 40: the painful truth

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ISHAAN'S POV:

I agreed to let it all out. The darkest part of my past. The reason why I've become this distant towards my so called father. The reason why I hate this place. The reason why i want to prove that I can win with music as my weapon. And the most important part was, who I was opening up to. I knew that she's the only escape I have to escape from my negativities. I know that she's the only one I need beside me and I would be ready to fight the whole world. But the most important part is, If she wants to be with me after knowing about my fucked up life and family. And today I am going to tell her. I open myself like a book that she can read clearly and decide whether she wants to be with me or not.

I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. Now that i've mustered up courage after all these years, I want to do it with all i have.

ISHAAN: I was just 8 years when my mom passed away, a-and i-it wasn't a-any n-natural d-death. S-She had committed a suicide.

I could see her eyes widening in shock, but nevertheless she squeezed my hand gently telling me to continue.

ISHAAN: I still remember it clearly. We were here for summer vacation at my grandma's place. We used to come here every year and it was normal. That is what I thought atleast. Dad used to come and take us back to australia with us after a month but that summer, I clearly remember him trying to postpone his visit to india again and again. At first everything was smooth, we genuinely thought that he was caught up in some work but as time passed by, I remember seeing mom getting restless. I remember she used to cry at night but I just thought she was scared of ghosts or was missing dad. I couldn't see her like that, but that little brain of mine couldn't comprehend what was the reason behind it.

Then after around two and a half months, mom couldn't wait anymore. She went back to australia saying she had some work to take care of and would be back soon to take me with her. But when she returned, she was devastated. She was heartbroken and I couldn't understand what was going on. I remember dad came to india the very next day and they had a very big fight. He told he was there to take us back with him but mom was refusing him. She told him she would never back with him. I was confused. I was happy that dad was back to take us like always but I didn't understand so as to why mom was refusing. He stayed here for a week and tried to take us back with him but mom clearly refused. He gave up. He gave up and went back. I still remember how I held his leg and cried. I told him to take us with him. I told him to not leave us here, But he just told one sentence and left.

"Your mom is a fool. She doesn't understand that the both of you need me. Ask her to come with you if she gains her senses back."

I was very naive to understand the meaning behind it, so I did what he said. I went and asked mom to take me to australia so that we could be with dad. I still remember how I fought with her that day. I told her she was selfish and foolish. I told her what dad said about her was right. I remember how I ran away from her. I didn't come out to eat food when she called me. I was angry on her. I was upset. I wanted to be with dad. I was missing him but how I regret all of that now. I regret not having food when she called me to eat. I regret each and every moment. Because, the next time I saw her, she wasn't my mom. She was just a corpse with no soul.

I couldn't stop myself and burst out in loud cries. I couldn't take the pain. I let out desperate cries for my mom who I knew wasn't going to return. Samaira engulfed me in a tight hug while she patted my head and comforted me. But the pain I was feeling right now was undescribable. I could see the lifeless face of my mother in front of my eyes. I steadied myself once more and continued with the rest of my truth.

ISHAAN: I s-still r-remember i-it. S-She was l-lying i-in a p-pool of b-blood. I tried to shake her to wake her up, but she didn't wake up. I shouted for her to wake up. She didn't. I apologized to her for my behaviour, but there was no use. She was gone. She wouldn't know how guilty I felt for behaving with her in that manner. But she was gone. I still remember dad not coming for the funeral. He came the next day to get me. But he wasn't alone, he came with a woman, slightly younger than my mom. She was beautiful, but I didn't like her vibes. She looked cunning. She made me feel uncomfortable. I was shocked when dad told that she was going to be my new mom.

I clearly remembering refusing him telling that my mom was gone and I couldn't have another one. But he didn't listen. He married her anyways. And just after a few days of her marriage, she showed her true colors. She tried to abuse me. She had a son as well, who got to live like a king. He was loved by my dad. He got all the love that I used to get before he came in my life. Meanwhile, I used to stand there with my tear filled eyes and look at them. The only thing that could comfort me was my mom's photo. Sometimes when I couldn't sleep at night, I used to speak to her photo. And that is how I spent a major part of my childhood.

It took me 9 years to realize what had happened that summer. My dad had cheated on my mom. He was having an affair with my step mother when mom was alive and that was the sole reason why he delayed his visit that summer. I felt as if someone had stabbed my chest several times. All the pain she had to go through that too alone. She didn't deserve that. And my behaviour towards her made it worse. I felt miserable. I didn't know what to do.

SAMAIRA: who told you that your dad had cheated?

ISHAAN: my step mother. She used to taunt me. And one fine day, she told me how my dad had chosen her over my mother. How my mom was a loser and how she was so much more better than my mom. I wanted to kill her then and there itself, but I knew I couldn't do that. And even If I could, mom wouldn't like it. She was beautiful woman, both on the outside as well as the inside. She didn't like violence. So that's when I decided. I will become a musician and fulfill her dream. She was a beautiful singer. And I loved music because of her. When my dad got to know about this, He called both me and my mom a loser for choosing a career that had no money. He compared me to my step brother who was studying business at harvard. He even refused to pay my college fee. Its my grandparents who've sponsered my education here. And I, by any chance am going to prove it to him that I am a winner. I can do better than anyone else can.

SAMAIRA: And I know you will. I am with you Ishaan. We will show him together what power a son's love holds. We'll show him what a great man you're mom has raised. We'll show him that you're the real winner.

I just stared at her with love filled in my eyes. I was open in front of her. Completely bare. With my miserable past and my helpless condition. Yet she chose to be with me. She chose to fight with me. She chose to win with me. And I was sure, I was not letting her go ever again. She came like the most unexpected thing in my life, and now she is the most beautiful thing as well.
I am sure, it was mom's sign, that I belonged here, with her, in her embrace.

ISHAAN: samaira, please don't ever leave me. I won't be able to survive without you.

Her eyes softened as she placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

SAMAIRA: trust me Ishaan, I don't enter people's life just to leave. I am here and now you're stuck with me. I won't ever leave.

ISHAAN: I wouldn't have preferred it any other way.

With that she put my head on her lap as she started humming a song along with patting my head.

SAMAIRA: sleep, Ishaan, you've gone through a lot.

I couldn't help but feel comfortable. The last time I felt this was when I was with mom. I felt like home with her. She was my home.

With all those thoughts occupying my mind, I had no idea when I dozed off in my dreamland.

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