Ivan's Girl is a GayxGirl Addict (Addict Series #1)

PANLABINSIYAM

PANLABINSIYAM ko nang tinatawagan si Ivan pero hindi niya sinasagot ang tawag ko. It's now the summer before our third year in college. Ang naalala ko e nagcamping kami last year pero ngayon walang galang mangyayari kasi umuwi sila sa kani-kanilang tahanan. Ako lang ang nandito sa apartment. Hindi rin dito umuuwi si Ivan. Wala akong alam tungkol sa kaniya. Speaking of Ivan. Tatawag na sana ulit ako sa kaniya pero nalaman ko na lang na na block na 'yong number ko sa kaniya.  Naalala ko tuloy kung bakit kami nagkaganito. Iniiwasan niya ako dahil sa nangyari sa pagitan namin sa loob ng sasakyan niya.

"What just happened?" Ani niya matapos ang ginawa namin. Naka upo na ako ngayon sa passenger seat. Hindi ko siya kayang tignan. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nagawa ko iyon, lalong-lalo na naming dalawa.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" Naka kunot ang noo ko nang tanungin ko iyon.

"What happened between us, it's a mistake. Right?" He says as if he was trying to convince himself that what happened between us was a mistake. To him but not for me.

"Seryoso ka ba?"

"Yes, I'm goddamn serious!" He shouted.

I never ever saw him or hear him do that to me. I was shocked that he was able to do that to me. My mind went noisy thinking of what I did wrong to deserve such actions. Did he forgot who he was talking to? All because we made out? He thinks it's a mistake? How so? Then why did he drag me outside and kisses me? Why does he have to confuse the hell out of me?

"How could you, Ivan? If you're confused please reflect and settle it by yourself. Don't come at me if you are still half-hearted because my feelings are sure for you. It's kind of unfair for me, you know. " I emotionally said as I was trying to calm myself. I wanted to get out of his car.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" He asked as I hurriedly fixed myself and went out of his car. As I went out, I couldn't help but cry.

Akala ko susundan niya ako pero hindi niya ginawa. Natapos ang pagbabalik-tanaw ko nang may tumawag sa akin.

"Hello, Yuri." Ani ni Cristiano sa kabilang linya.

"Bakit napatawag ka, Cristiano?"

"May tumawag kasi sa akin na bartender. Nasa bar daw si Ivan, lasing na lasing. Gumagawa na daw ng eksena doon." Dali-dali naman akong kumilos para lumabas ng aming apartment.

"Jesus! Ivan. I hope he's fine." Naka sakay naman ako agad ng taxi papunta sa destinasyon kung na saan si Ivan. Ngayon na lang ulit kami magkikita mula noong nangyari sa pagitan naming dalawa.

"Thank you po, Manong." Bumaba agad ako pagkatapos kong magbayad at dali-daling pumasok sa nasabing bar ni Cristiano. Hindi naman ako sinuway ng bouncer kasi pinakita ko agad ang ID ko at sinabing may susunduin akong lasing sa loob. Sakto pagkapasok ko ay naka tanggap ako ng text galing kay Cristiano.

Nakita mo na ba siya?

Wala pa pero nandito na ako sa bar kung na saan siya. I'll text you once I found him.

I roamed my eyes around the place. Walang nagbago, ganoon pa rin ang ambiance ng mga typical na bar. There exist alcoholics, exhibitionist, adicts, and more. It's a dangerous place but for me, once when I'm with my people, I feel safe. But with my situation right now, while I was walking toward the bar counter, it was not safe. I don't feel it, at all since I'm all alone.

"Argh, Ivan." I walked fast just so I could arrive at my destination faster. I was frustrated at the strangers who stare at me sexually. I was disgusted by them.