The Boy I Love -HEDRIC (2)

83.(HC) I love you here

HARRY

XCV

On Monday afternoon he spotted Cedric in the hallways.

As usual. Like when he didn't know him and found him everywhere.

A heartbeat escaped Harry as he noticed him approaching, just as it usually did.

They had talked very little in all this time, awkwardly and it hurt how someone so important to him could be so far away. 

Harry didn't blame him. 

He was expecting the classic how are you and not a, “It's been over a week," that sounded as sorry as Harry felt. Remembering that this hurt both of them equally caused him to have to look away to contain his expression, “and I've been thinking about… That maybe we should talk. One of these days. If you want to…” 

A second of panic passed through him. 

Because he didn't know if Cedric had already decided on his own.

Nor had he come to a conclusion himself. Yet. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he managed to respond, with no desire to sound disinterested. “When?”

“They'll tell us what the task is about on Sunday. After that?” 

XCVI

Of course he had thought long and hard about the matter.

Drowning in mixed feelings, unable to combat every thought that attacked him at night. Cedric didn't deserve this. 

What would he say to him? 

That he wanted to be with him but couldn't promise him a future?

What Cedric deserved was someone who could give him the life he probably could never have. 

But how much he would love to...  

XCVII

On Tuesday he was so in his head that what it took to get him out of there was for the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to summon him at the end of class. 

He acted normal like he had been doing for weeks.

Moody offered him classes to help him prepare for the third task, and Harry pretended to think about it.

On the way to his bedroom, he considered that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea.

Try to find out more about Bartemius Crouch —and of course, learn some spells and useful information. Who else but him would want to make him win? Besides Voldemort.

XCVIII

Ron stayed in bed when Harry decided not to go down to the common room.

“I'm starting to think that love kind of sucks…”

Rising up on his elbows, he asked, “Why? Has something happened with…?”

Had Ron already realized his feelings for Hermione?

“With you. You isolate and close in on yourself. You don't want to talk.”

"There's not much to say." He laid down again.

Of course Ron didn't believe him.

Harry really didn't even know what words to use.

"Hermione has heard from close sources that Cedric misses you," he commented, observing him as if to gauge his reaction. Although Harry knew he didn't have to hide his emotions with Ron, he wasn't used to showing them. “And you miss him too. It’s obvious. As you once told me, you are miserable here. Why don't you just get back together?”