But Why Not

Chapter Thirty-Two

*Back to Erin's POV. Please listen to the song as you read this chapter. I think it goes perfectly!*

I saw Ryder's truck as Natalie led me into school. I refused to let Zach take me. "What's his truck doing here?"

"He's clearing out his locker." Natalie responded.

When I got to my locker, Zach stood at it holding a bouquet of daisies, my favorite flower. "Erin, I am so sorry. For everything. I never should've made decisions for you and I never should've started the fight with Ryder. I am so incredibly sorry."

I couldn't help but smile. I held out my arms and Zach held me tightly. "I forgive you." I whispered in his ear.

I opened my locker and Zach put the flowers in. "Thank you for forgiving me."

I smiled as I shoved books in my locker.

Suddenly, I heard my name being called down the hall. "Erin! Erin, you gotta come quick." Seth huffed as he ran up to me. Blood was pouring from his nose but he didn't seem to care.

I slammed my locker closed. "What's going on? What happened?"

"It's Ryder. He's behind the school. He's not himself. We don't know what to do." he rushed out.

I immediately knew Ryder hadn't taken his medicine. I didn't care how mad I was at him, Ryder needed me.

I dropped my backpack and took off in the direction of the nearest door as fast as I could on crutches. I burst through the door and went around to the back of the school. Ryder had his head leaning against the wall, slamming his fist into it with sickening crunches.

His teammates watched at a distance. They were all in different stages of injury. It looked like there had been a fight.

"Everybody clear out!" I told them.

"Erin," Reed said in a warning tone, "he's dangerous when he's like this. We already got too close."

"Reed, trust me. I know how to handle this. It needs to be just me and him. Trust me on this." I pleaded.

After a minute, he nodded and herded the guys away. A few glanced back at us over their shoulders.

Once they were out of sight, I cautiously started to approach Ryder.

Ry?" I called out carefully.

He didn't move; just kept beating the wall. Blood ran down his hand and arm. His other hand was caked in dry blood.

I moved closer until I could touch him. I gently laid a hand on his shoulder. He tensed under my touch. "Ryder." I said softly. "Stop."

He clamped his eyes shut and scrunched up his face.

I took his chin and turned him to face me. He kept his eyes down. "Look at me."

He slowly drug his gaze up my face until it settled on my eyes. I gently took his bloodied hands in mine. "This isn't you. What's going on?"

He closed his eyes and I saw the tears start to fall. And then, Ryder crumbled. He sunk to the concrete and cradled his head in his hands.

I ignored the searing pain my leg as I eases myself onto the concrete beside him and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Sh, Ry. What's going on? What happened?" I asked quietly.

"I was so happy with you." he choked. "I thought I was better so stopped taking my medicine. Then I woke up this morning so depressed it hurt. I got here and one of the guys said something to me and it angered me. I ran. I ran out here and," he looked down at his hands, "this happened. Help me, Erin." he pleaded. "I hate this. I hate being this way!" He lunged out of my arms and punched the wall again.

"Ryder!" I exclaimed.

He slumped with his back against the wall, his head dropped to his knees and he sobbed. It hurt me so much to see him this way.

I sat in front of him and took his battered hands in mine; I kissed his ripped knuckles. "Ryder, this is a part of you." I laid a hand over his heart, "You can't take it out. No matter how much you want to, you can't."

He pulled one of his hands from my grasp and cupped my cheek. "Why do you like, I guess not so much like at the moment, but whatever. Why do you like someone like me? One moment I could be the happiest person with you and then the next I could scream and yell, I could get all depressed. How could you like that part of me?" he asked as tears continued to stream down his face.

I realized in that moment, I didn't care that Ryder had broken up with me. He did it because he loved me. And I loved him. So I decided to tell him just that. "Ryder, I love you. All of you. And this is a part of you. So I love it too."

His eyes met mine. "You- you love me? This, me?" he whispered.

"Yes, Ryder. I love you. Every emotional you you become. I love it all."

He broke into a grin. "Oh my god, I love you, Erin. I love you so much." And with that he leaned forward and kissed me.

And in that moment, we didn't care what anyone thought, Zach, my parents, they didn't matter. We were just two teenagers who had fallen helplessly in love.

And that, my dear, dear readers, is the end of Erin and Ryder's story. The epilogue will be posted shortly and I will do a larger wrap up there!

Avery