XXII - "The Access"

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Violet

Memories flooded in my head as I hear Mariah Carey sing "My All". It reminded me of how he loved me, how he selflessly loved me without asking me anything in return. How he was so patient waiting even if he knows that the chances of me loving him back is very very little.

Sanji my gentle cook, my perv, how I loved him, how I missed him, his touch, with him I need not ask, he knows what I want, where I want and when I wanted it.

I completely misunderstood him, I thought he just wanted to play around, but no he didn't. The stolen moments we shared, I now realised as love. I remembered one night when we were talking at our favorite spot.

"I gave you access because I thought that is what you wanted." I said as I felt a burning sensation inside my chest.

"When I said I missed kissing you, I missed your smell, I missed hugging you. I wasn't asking you to allow me to do that to you. You see it is more important to do things together, by saying that you gave me access, it's just like your allowing to be used. I don't want that." Sanji said

My heart was still pounding, my imagination was all over the place.

"What does he really want?" I asked myself

My walls start to pile up again, my defenses started to build up again. I thought he wanted to do those things. Kissing, Hugging

"Perv, I want to do these things with you knowing that you wanted to do it and that you have feelings for me too." He said as if he has read my mind.

"I admit I have feelings for you, but I don't know if it is love. I appreciate your care, I admire your wisdom, I am thankful of your advises." I said

"You can't just let anyone hug you, you can't just let anybody kiss you, and have sex with you." He said

"On Perv, why do you always make me think?" I asked

"Because you always make a lot of stupid things, it's not about the kiss, the hug the sex. It's about how you feel, how I feel, how we both feel." He said

I was touching his face, I was running my fingers on his arms his tattoos. He has a Polynesian tatto embossed on his left arm.

"Did this hurt? I always wanted to have my late father's name tattoed on my rib. I shared trying to change the topic

He said, "Perv you see sex is not just sex if you are both in love. It is called making love. Kissing is not just kissing and..."

I stopped him by holding the back of his head and I pulled him closer. I kissed him I slowly kissed him and I slid my tounge inside his mouth. I was touching his face. Everytime he speaks he make me want to kiss him. I let out a soft moan inside his mouth.

"Perv... I moaned

He swallowed my moans and I can see how it affected him, the list on his face... The...

" Violet.. Perv..." There was a searching look on his face

"Oh shit it's time. We need to go up. We don't want boss to get mad again right? He said

So we went up to go back to work, we still kissed inside the elevator, but I moved away to stop our already heated make out session.


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