For All My Love And Rage |Originals AU

18. Leave Your Heart at the Door, You Won't Need it Anymore

A/N: Trigger warning for violence, child abuse, mentions of sexual assault.

***

Mikael stood by the door of Lucian's lofty apartment, watching his children. Each of them had chosen a corner to hide and sulk in, avoiding each other as they processed the shock they went through. The half-truths Mikael told them were enough to put them in a dazed state. It made Mikael more confident in his choice to not tell his children the entire truth; he was sure that would break their hearts beyond repair.

Still, once Mikael left, they would finally be happy after so many years. But, first, he had to break their heart one last time.

He had gotten used to the hatred in his children's eyes. For a thousand years, every time he got close to them, all they felt for him was fear and hate. Mikael couldn't blame them, of course. It was all his fault. But it still hurt to see that look in their eyes.

"It doesn't matter," Mikael reminded himself. "They will be safe now... Safe from me... And her..." he grunted softly, the pain of his wounds forcing him to lean against the wall. Looking around to make sure neither his children, nor any other, could see or hear him, Mikael slowly sat on the floor. For a moment, still afraid one of his children would find him tending to his wounds, Mikael almost regretted lying about his powers. Telling Freya he had always healed others wasn't exactly a lie, but he had neglected to tell her how he could heal others. Mikael took their wounds and curses upon himself, absorbed them. While his children healed, he suffered in their place. He had always healed miraculously fast. No wound, curse, or venom could ever keep him down for long or kill him; but it still caused him unimaginable pain.

Mikael knew the pain well, however. He was used to it, after so many years living with the Hollow, his cruel mother, and the Silence, her brutal husband and Mikael's father. They trained him well to withstand an unthinkable amount of pain.

Yet the curses that Mikael took from his children, those were different. Nothing he could not handle, of course. But, as pain washed over him, blurring his senses, his children's curses made him think...

Mikael closed his eyes, lost in memories, remembering the curses placed upon him through his life.

***

The first curse, Mikael barely remembered it. He was only a boy, no older than 10 winters, when it happened. The awful ritual that turned him into the Destroyer, a weapon for the Hollow to use against her enemies.

His mother, the Hollow queen, and his father, the king Silence, dragged him by the wrists into the woods. It was so dark, in that awful night, so terribly dark that little Mikael thought his father had killed the moon and his mother had stolen all the stars. It was a childish thought, but even as an adult, Mikael had a hard time convincing himself that wasn't the case. He always knew his mother and father were powerful and frightening; they had been gods once, long ago, before they lost most of their powers. On that terrible night, neither could have moved the stars. But, maybe, the moon and the stars simply did not want to see what those two fallen gods planned to do with poor little Mikael.

For Mikael, the ritual took hours. He was young, but even in his brief life, he knew the pain of the ritual was the worst pain imaginable. He felt it in his soul, a pain like no other, tearing him apart and remaking him into something else. A monster, powerful and ruthless. He screamed and screamed until he lost his voice. He begged and begged, but his father and mother never spared him even a single pitiful glance. They carried on, saying the strange words, drawing the symbols with Mikael's blood and ignoring his suffering. From time to time, however, they would tell Mika to recite his most important lesson. After losing all hope, Mikael did what he was told.