What do I live for?

Chapter 16

Jace's Pov
Dante and I arrived two hours ago. Dean and Shaw weren't home when we arrived. Shaw arrived an hour ago without Dean. Which was very weird. I've been having this strange feeling since we arrived. Shaw and Dante were watching television as I got us some juice because it was very hot. A bang from the door startled me. "I'll get it," I told them and walked to the door. Dean pushed himself onto me weakly. I held him up by his waist. "What's wrong?" My hands started to feel warm and wet. I raised my hand from his body while holding him up with the other. All I saw was blood. The floor was already stained. "Dean? Dante!!" Frozen I stood with Dean bleeding in my arms. Shaw and Dante ran up to me. Benny, Ian and Lewis also entered the house. They were really badly hurt except for Benny. Shaw took Dean from my arms. "Call sam to come quickly," Dean said. He didn't even look in pain. Dante took my hand and lead me to the living room where the five men were sitting. "So much blood," I said in a daze. My breathing became harse and quickly. "Calm down Jace," Dean said sternly. He got up and stood in front of me. "Breath Jace, look at me." His mouth was moving but I couldn't hear his voice. My eyes wasn't meeting his. It drifted to the bloody men. "Blood...you." "Look into my eyes Jace," he said shaking me. Tears escaped my eyes rapidly. Dean's blood wasn't stopping. How can he tell me to calm down when he is hurt. I looked into his blue eyes intensely. My breathing becoming a bit calm. "Aahh! Fuck!"Dean screamed. He pulled his sweater up to look at his wound. Like really what the fuck. It was like his wound was merging opening further. A lot of veins displayed around the wound. Hurt was now evident on his face." Aaahhh!!! Where the fuck is Sam. Something is not right,"Dean screamed. Just as Sam arrived Dean fainted into my arms. Shaw and Benny carried him to one of the rooms downstairs. It was like a hospital room.

It's been three hours since Sam took the bullet out from Dean, Ian and Lewis. Ian and Lewis were just fine after that but not Dean. Sam said he was in a light coma. Sam is the family doctor. It was pretty late so me and Dante went to our rooms. Being in my room for almost two hours I couldn't sleep. I felt restless. My mind kept wandering to Dean who was laying downstairs. Unable to do anything. His eyes is closed. In a deep sleep. I couldn't help but feel hurt and sad. My heart always reacts when it comes to Dean. Unaware that I was crying I decided to head downstairs to the kitchen. Everyone was already fast asleep. The door of the room Dean was in was slightly open when I passed it. Yes, I admit that I didn't really come down here to be in the kitchen. I went inside the room, closing it behind me. Dean was just laying there. He had a bandage around his shoulder. Shirtless. It is still pretty warm. Step by step I made it next to his bed. Sitting on the chair next to his bed. My heart really betrays me a lot. Tears was now falling again. Why do I always cry for him? 'Because you love him.' 'No, I don't love Dean.' 'Than why are you crying Jace? Why are you here.' I was arguing with my innerself. I love him. I've been in love with him since he kissed me those years ago. I got on the bed and laid my head on the pillow next to him. It was a king size bed. Taking in his scent. Even though he's in a coma he still smells very nice. My brain wasn't at work here but my heart. I laid with him just to be in the moment and listen to my heart for once. I want to know what this feelings means and what my heart really wants. I mean it's not like Dean would ever know. He is in a coma after all. When he wakes up one day things will be the same as it was when he was still awake. With my head resting on his not hurt shoulder. I intertwined our fingers. "I do have feelings for you Dean Langley. This realisation is too bad for my reality. You are you. Whose very bad for me and I'm just the abnormal Jace who has an illness. And gets terrified whenever I see blood. You can never find out that I love you. That I am in live with you with all of my being." Look at me talking to you like you can respond or hear me. "Oh Dean. Three years trying to forget about you. But looks like destiny has its own plans. You are bad for me. You do the same work Mike used to. That made him a horrible person. I can't be with you." My tears stained his chest. Rolling from my eyes down his chest.