Please Don't Save Me [BkDk]

Why is it always me?

IZUKU POV:(Chapter 8)
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!!TW!!
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Swearing
Shit talking
Mentions of attempted suicide
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My eyes open, the white scenery an automatic remembrance in- graved in my mind as I glance around the room...alone..like usual

I sit up in the hospital bed, moving the white sheets to the side as I slide off the bed, my legs cold against the medical proof sheets, I was still dressed in my hospital gown.

My mind reflects to the day before and all the positive income I received from my peers, however I still can't get the thought of them pretending to care..out my head, because why would they actually care for me, what had I done to deserve their praise?

Yet he seemed so kind, aswell as the others so there is no possible way-

Really now?

...

..Why are you back here, what else do you have to take from me?!

I say, almost so clearly in my head that it sounds like I shouted it in the narrow space I am confined into, it seemingly echoing around the walls, a faint sound of scratching coming from somewhere unidentified.

You know..there is always a reason why people do things..like yourself..and there's always support for people..like yourself..however you do.not.deserve.it.

..What?

Don't pretend like you didn't hear me my dear Izuku..you.do
not.deserve.support...there are people suffering greater than you yet here you are getting everyone to feel pity for you..to be honest it's pathetic...your a boy Izuku..boys don't cry.boys don't have problems.your fears are irre-LEVANT AND WEAK!

I can feel tears well in my eyes before remembering what the voice said, I brought my hands up to my head and pounded against it lightly as I gripped at my hair.

Boys.don't.cry.suck it up Izuku..

Standing up abruptly, I begin to pace the room, debating things and hearing voices going on and on and on and on and on..and on..and ON.

Why can't it just SHUT UP!

I'm sick of this...I'm sick of everything..why..?

It was going so well-and I was feeling so positive the other day...but now look at it, I'm miserable and fucking useless..Izu- You fucking Deku honestly just why can't you- just-..juST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY, THEY DON'T NEED YOU, YOU'RE FUCKING USELESS.

Why....it always resorts back to this again..I just want it to end all the negative thoughts in my head..why..it's breaking me..but I'm still fighting for peace..

I want to get better..I really do but I just can't get the necessary help-

...but I do receive it..and why do I deserve it..i-its like it said..there are others who suffer worse than me..so why am I acting entitled to all the help provided for me..

Why..?

A simple knock awakened me from my trances yet again as I turn my head silently before speaking aloud my greetings "You may come in.." My voice wavering a bit, I look in the reflecting of the window and make sure if it was or was not obvious if I had been in a state of distraught only a few moments earlier.

"Midoriya..?" I hear my name being called by a deep voice, one that I have heard quite recently..my sensei, yet again..turning my head towards him I question his sudden appearance, and early in the morning I may say, as he walks slowly towards me and sits down on the neighbouring chair beside my hospital bed.