Please Don't Save Me [BkDk]

What the fuck?

AIZAWA POV: (Chapter 11)
_____________________________
!!TW!!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Swearing
Mentions of self harm
Mentions of attempted suicide
________________________________________

It has probably been around 20-25 minutes since the kid passed out. I hate to admit it but at this point it's very obvious that I'm worried about him. He did a damn good job at hiding what was really going on.

Turns out that after a but if background searching and looking for information about him, he has been keeping s lot of things hidden from us. I'm so fucking stupid because how could I not be able to find out what had actually been going on until this far along?

I'm ashamed of myself, I can't believe that I was this gullible, my teeth grinded together in frustration. This whole situation was so devastating but so obvious, I'll kill whichever doctor left those scissors behind.

Why is it that he can bottle up all of his emotions and never share his feelings? Yet he has to do this to himself on a daily basis, not mentioning th😭 face that withing two weeks of eachother, he has tried to kill himself 4 times.

No one actually knows when to check his hospital room, mostly because we are never sure when he will wake up which is bloody helpful considering how vulnerable he is right now.

To be honest, I've been so stressed about if he will try something or not when I am not with him, which links to the fact I haven't slept in days, which is understandable considering his mental state. Yet, it isn't too different to the usual insomnia.

Coffee only helps depending on the day, mostly it does. However, today didn't seem to be one of those days considering such a drowsey state I'm in right now.

I actually wish I just threw myself out the window right now- but...sadly I cant- I'm actually so tired that I feel like I just got devoured by a black hole inside the stomach of a whale I just got digested by.

No because I actually feel like I just got put through a paper shredder that was set on fire while being sailed across the sea by captain Jack Sparrow.

Okay enough of me being weird, the kids really is worrying me but- what if I offered him a double suicide?- NO SHOTA YOU- you can't do that to a kid Shota...oh man...being a 'mature' adult really is fun.

This is so hectic right now, I kind of just feel like problem child number 5 just started floating everything in the entire room, like is everything supposed to seem dizzy or is it just because I didn't get enough sleep?

Ah fuck it, it's probably both knowing me, though no one knows shit now-a-days. Cause no one knows how much of a case problem child number ones case has been right now.

He is not in any way a burden but having to get three people fired because of their lack of consideration and communication with problem child, he then ends up like this.

Which ends up frustrating me even more eve cause we can't get him into proper care and no one has the time to check on him all the time but as soon as he gets a second to himself, he goes straight for the kill. (In this case, to himself)

The thing is that since no one is listening to me and following the instructions and precautions I set, this happens to him and then I get worried about it then don't eat or sleep or do anything fucking relevant because I can't trust a single other soul to be watching over him.

And when you think about it, they are so fucking stupid to think I would actually listen to their advice because what if I just took the kid, adopted him and kept him to myself to take care of so no one else screws anything up? Okay now it's getting a bit fuzzy in here.

I kind of don't think this is normal but oh well, it will pass eventually and I'm actually hoping I don't pass out, not that I'm worried for myself. What sort of bullshit is that? I'm worried about the kid who will take advantage of the fact that I'm unconscious so he could harm himself more.

He is in the bed again nd he doesn't show signs of waking up but I can never be sure with him..you know...im feeling a bit tired...I think I might just...have...a...nap...

Nah what the fuck is this place, ah shit well I'm still tired but now it's FUCKING DARK AHHHHHHH okay now I'm calmed down, where the ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHIT am I?

Yeah and...where is the problem hold, oh no no no that's terribly wrong. I must be mistaken...let me just- OW no I'm definitely awake but where-

AH THE FUCKING IS THAT SMEAGLE LOOKING FUCKER oh it's me never mind- haha oopsie, anyways lemme just-

Bitch I've been walking so far it feels like I just invented 500 new ways to die easily. It's still FUCKING PITCH BLACK okay I'm calmed again now, don't mind that.

No cause actually where am I because I swear to God if the kids tries anything else while I'm in this mind fuck place then I'll be the next to kill myself.

Especially considering how those doctors and nurses supposed to help with checking in on him don't normally do JACK SHIT so they would oribsbly only come check on us after smelling an oder coming from our DEAD FUCKING CORPSES.

Sorry, I don't know why I keep doing that, it isn't like I'm STUCK IN A FUCKING HELL HOLE OR ANYTHING nope not even that worked, now if I was a dumb fucker, what would I do?

Oh wait! I already am a dumb fucker! Silly me, I almost forgot. Let me just casually go and FUCKING KILL MYSELF nope can't even do that here, let me just lie on the floor and cry.

Oh great now the floor leads me to darkness, there is just no where to go and nothing to FUCKING DO sorry still don't know why I am doing that. Just s little thing that happens.

Anyways, I'm totally fine and don't feel weird again, wait no cause WHAT THE FUCK?!

________________________________________
1075 words!

Yes this is a very short chapter but I ensted to write another one to try and keep up with story but I actually have no clue what to do in later chapters (you are allowed to recommend chapters, what they are about and who's POV they are in. I actually did half of this story I'm school when I was hired because I normally get creative motives in the beginning of the day surprisingly.

Make sure you stay hydrated, well fed and you are getting enough sleep, I hope this chapter is okay and like I said, feel free to give recommendations and tell me about anything else.

I hope that you have an amazing day/noon/night wherever you are in the world and I wish you are blessed with luck as well xx

Goodbye and see you next chapter!!!!