𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

25 | Care About You

Lovin' you is killing me
When disappearings easy for us all
_

I look away "She knows" I sit up.

"I know, we argued and she left. I'm guessing she was here?"

I look at Jeongin's door and I stand up, walking to my room and Minho follows. "Yeah," I close the door behind him, turning on the lamp.

"She... she wants to work it out" I look at him and nod slowly, walking to the window and opening it, sitting down on the windowsill seat.

"Hope that works out for you both," I tell him and grab my pack of cigarettes, lighting it and inhaling the nasty flavor.

I felt him walk toward me and I looked at him, "I'm scared" He said to me, now sitting in front of me. I put the cigarette out and looked at him. "For a second I thought about it—Working it out with her"

I look away and continue listening. The cold breeze pushed into the room and between us.

"But I can't" I swallowed harshly and I felt him grab my hand, his fingers running over the bandage "This wasn't here earlier, did she hurt you?"

I look at him and shrug "I'm fine"

He pulls my hand to his lips and plants a soft peck onto the bandage. My heart melting. Minho sighed and shook his head "I could lose my job" He spoke so gently to me.

I pull my hand away "I know" I sympathize with him, looking away "I'm sorry" I apologize "I'm so fucking sorry I ruined everything for you"

His soft hand goes to my cheek, forcing me to look at him "I'm not" I furrow my brows, and my vision blurs. "Ji..." Tears fell from my eyes and my head fell into my hands.

"Why does it hurt?" I cried as it all came rushing back again. The pain. The guilt. The feeling of failing my parents. Ruining his relationship. Starting something I shouldn't have. Everything.

"Look at me" I didn't listen and he grabbed my hands, making me look at me, "Tell me what's hurting you"

"You!" I pull away "You hurt me" Minho stares at me "My family hurt me" I whisper, "And I'm tired of acting like I don't care because I do. I care about what my family thinks and I fucking care about you"

"Then let me make it up to you" Minho shake his head, "Please let me make it up to you"

"You can't," I tell him, "I can't ask you to throw away a relationship that obviously means so much to you or to risk losing your job for me and I can't—I won't be your secret anymore"

Minho wipes my tears "You won't be my secret" He says, "You won't"

And I knew that we couldn't be together if I was in his class. I knew that he couldn't give me what I wanted if I was. It would be hard to see him everyday, it was so hard to see him act like what we should be—professor and student, but we were much more.

I lean closer and kiss his lips softly and he responds to it. I pull away and nod "Okay," I tell him.

And for the first time, he picked me.

*Song rec - Hard to Love
by Crying City *