(We join Amethyst, Lapis and Peridot as they talk about shit that may or may not be illegal on other planets.)
"So spill it, Amethyst: Who's got the bigger dick and who lasted longer?" Peridot asked as Amethyst made comparisons with her hands.
"Simply put: Greg(spreads her fingers apart slightly) and Steven(spreads her arms out). Night and day, I swear. Steven has some stamina out this world. He definitely lasted longer than his old man ever did with me." Amethyst bragged.
"Tch. Obviously. Didn't you tell me Greg didn't even last a full two minutes in Garnet? No way he'd be able to handle me or Peridot." Lapis said as Peridot shook her head.
"This ass is for Steven only. Not his fat fuck of a father. Hell, I don't even know if I want him at the wedding." Peridot said, causing Lapis and Peridot to look at her like she had lost her damn mind.
"Wedding? The fuck? You aren't marrying Steven. Where the fuck did you even get that idea? Garnet?" Amethyst asked with a laugh.
"No. Why would I ask her for advice on what my future will be with my boyfriend?" Peridot asked as Lapis glared at her.
"Bitch, what? Since when is Steven YOUR boyfriend? If anything, he's mine." Lapis said as Amethyst shook her head.
"Neither of y'all are his girlfriend. Simple as that. Besides, Steven doesn't give a damn about relationships right now anyway after what Connie.....huh? What the fuck? Is that my damn music?" Amethyst exclaims as she hears the lyrics:
"Throw that ass in a circle!"
"That shit is coming from further down the Beach." Amethyst said as she, Lapis and Peridot followed the source.....and couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Pearl twerking her ass to the music. Yes. Pearl twerking. I cannot even believe I'm actually writing this shit. It's that unbelievable.
"Hey! Narrator! I can twerk just fine!" Pearl exclaimed as Amethyst laughed.
"You don't have anywhere close to the ass for twerking. You gotta have something there, Pancake Pearl." The Purple Gem Thot laughed.
"Hey! I'm not a Thot!!! Shut up!" Amethyst snapped.
Scuse me? You are a walking advertisment for Pornhub.
"And RedTube. And YouPorn. And Xvideos. Pretty much all of those sites." Pearl said as we all looked at her.
"Well at least I know what your phone's Internet history looks like. Anyway, stop embarrassing yourself, Pearl." Amethyst said as Pearl flipped her the bird and walked away.
Next part: The 9th Booty Warrior Steven Universe heads to another show's universe. That's right: Our first crossover of this book! Who will it be? Find out next time!
