Behind Boundaries

27

“How are you, dad?”

I asked my dad who’s now peacefully resting on his deathbed. Kanina lang ang sabi buhay pa siya, pero ngayong narito na ako ang sabi ay patay na raw. Mukhang hinintay lang ako makatapak sa Yorkshire, eh.

Though mom is still with me, hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko ang pagkawala ni Dad. This time, as much as I want to call my husband, hindi ko siya nagawang tawagan dahil alam kong busy siya.. at ayaw kong makadagdag sa isipin niya.

“Dione,” My mom caress my back. “He asked the nurse to record his message for you before he died.”

Mom gave me the recorder where she said that my dad’s message for me. Ang sabi, nakapag usap na raw sila bago mawala si dad kaya naman ako na lang ang hindi nasabihan so they already record it.

“Dione, your dad loves us so much.” She added.

My heart cries out when I heard my dad’s voice. He said that he wanted me to live freely, and do whatever my heart and mind wanted. He said thay he got bankrupted, meaning, no legacy for me. He also wanted that mom needs me but it is for me if I wanted to be with her since may mga kapatid naman daw si mom.

Who payed our bills? The De Vries family. They covered everything because ninong is my dad’s main best buddy. Kaya pala mas may information pa ang asawa ko about sa parents ko than me.

I felt sad for my love. Kaya stress na stress siya sa work dahil need niya ng money for us, and my family. Kaya hindi ko siya naisama ngayon because he need to accept the administrative case para makapunta ako rito na walang binabayaran. Nagtampo pa naman ako sa kaniya, tapos ito pala ang mga ginawa niya for me.

Hindi na ako nakakahawak ng cellphone because I need to focus to my mom’s recovery. Low battery rin naman, at wala akong charger kaya hindi ko ma charge. Honestly, I can’t buy charger outside dahil kahit malayo lang saglit kay mommy, ay hindi ko magawa.

Hinintay ko rin dumating ang araw na makalakad si mom ng maayos. After two years of sleeping, nahihirapan siyang tumayo kaya ako muna ang nagbatantay sa sa kaniya at nag alaga.

Gano’n naman talaga dapat, ‘di ba? though you don’t owe anything for them, kagaya ng sinasabi ng ilan, we should reciprocate their love for us. Hindi ito sapilitan dahil ang feelings ay hindi naipagpipilitan, but this is the sign of love and respect for them dahil kung wala sila... ay baka wala rin ako.

I’m cooking for our dinner when mom entered the dining, holding a book from her hands. Nakasuot na rin siya ng reading glass bago ipagpatuloy ang pagbabasa sa book.

When I finished cooking, mom helped me prepare the dining. Hindi ko siya pinayagan, pero ang kulit niya kaya naman napapapayag niya ako. Ito siguro ang namana ko sa kaniya... Iyong pagiging makulit.

The dinner isn’t that boring with mom. Marami siyang na kwento sa akin tungkol sa pamumuhay nila ni Dad habang nagtatrabaho ako sa Pinas. Kung ano ang ginagawa nila kapag nabobored, at iba pa.

Mom started to tell me about my husband, too. Dahil noong mga araw raw na boring na boring sila ni dad, si Visser ang lagi nilang nakakausap. I know that he’s a busy man, but he managed to talk with my parents.

“You know what? that husband of yours is eager to help your dad for his company problem. When you’re not with him, he’s calling us.. He gave us updates about you.” My mom said while cooking food for me.

Nagbibigay siya ng update sa parents ko? pero ang sabi niya, hindi raw alam nila mom na nagkaroon ako ng boyfriend, ah? eh ‘di ano mga kwento ang sinasabi niya? I’m curious!

“Like what, mom?” I asked.

“He said that you did a great job in Mental Health Center in the Philippines. Sometimes, you became busy and unable to give us a call. He said that everytime he went home, you’re already sleeping.” She chuckled.