In hiding ( sons of anarchy)

Chapter 22

Seeing him made me think about everything iv'e done. Was it all a mistake or is what I did for good. Of course not because I was ding it to save myself im so selfish. i'm not going to tell them everything because then I would come off way to childish and scared.

He stared at me. That's all he did was stare, along with everyone else like they were waiting for me to say something.

"how'd it go with the irish? " Chibs asked. walking over to clay.

"Better than expected. Hows it going with her?" Clay asked.

"She hasent said anything. Wants to talk to jaxs" Happy said. Clay looked over at Jaxs and he was still staring at me. I couldn't describe that look. its almost like he wanted to kill me but also sadness. Like he new what we had was to good to be true.

"Everyone out" jaxs said.

"you sure man?"Juice asked.

"Yeah, what do you think shes going to do kill me?" he said in a sarcastic angrey way. Everyone slowly started shuffeling out of the barn. Half sac closing it behind them.

It was quite for awhile. I didn't know what to say because I didn't know what he was going to say or if he was going to yell at me. I couldn't handle that right know because even though I appear to be hlding together so well I feel like im going to burst at the seems.

"I don't even know where to start"Jaxs said. walking a bit closer to me.

"Me either" I answered quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me you where in bed with stahl?" he asked.

"Jax, you wouldn't get it. I cant tell you"

"What do you mean I wouldn't get it? Was all this an act?" jaxs asked

"what?" I asked already know what he was going to say.

he hesitated but finally said "Us"

I didn't know at this point if I should just lie or tell him the truth.what I had for him was real. but last time I told someone had feelings for them it turned around and bit me in the ass. If I wanted any realationship with the sons I was going to have to tell them some sort of truth. I always felt safe with jax and maybe I could still have that.

"yes" I said taking a deep breath

"Then why? why start a deal with stahl why not tell me about it, if your really cared" He asked getting frustrated

"Jaxs you don't get it I had a life before I meet you. It wasn't the best I needed an out and you where my only answer. the plan was not to get attached" I started to cry " I wasn't supposed to fall in love" I whimpered.

he looked so confused. " Jaxs im broken always have always will. I cant tell you anything, im into deep I don't know what would happen to me, its to dangerouse. you need to understand that im just protecting myself" I said tryin g to keep the tears in.

"Marissa, Tell me whats going on. Ill help you thorugh it. Well figure this out if your in danger we are here to help you. Your safe with me you know that right?" he asked walking over to me bending down and toching my cheek.

I leaned into his touch. I wanted this to work out so badly. No one understands how normal and happy I felt with Jaxs and his family. they felt like my own. That I belonged there. I new that he would keep me safe, That they woul keep me afe.

Just before I could say anything the barn door swang open and the rest of them entered. Jax stood up and stood in front of me.

"Any progress" Clay asked

"Jax I know that you would keep me safe. That you all would" I said looking around the barn at them all they all looked simpatetic. "You need to understand that I didn't mean to fall in love with you jax that wasn't par tof are plan"

"Are plan?" jax asked

"I was put in charming to connect the sons of anarchy and the irish. I was supposed to find out everything to do with your gun supplyer. how many guns, how they where getting them to the club house. That led me to you jax. Stahl said you where the weak link that you would fall for any girl who had long legs and had a pussy. She told me about tara" I said looking down. Me holding it together I continued " I was supposed too get all the info from jaxs. As I grew closer to you jax yas I started to gain real feelings I didn't know what I was going to do at that point. If I got info you guys where to much of a family to me I couldn't rat"

"Do not talk about family! you don't know what that is"Clay said getting closer to me.

I smirked. "This is where shit starts to get real. Clay should I tell them or you?" I asked. jax turned to face clay along with everyone else. Clay had a worried face on.

"Fine, I had a folder with everything on you guys in it. Your president over here found out about it and didn't nothing but threaten me. my question is why didn't you do something like this sooner? you want all of them to get caught and sent to jail?" I asked

"You little skank"Clay charged at me but the boys held him back and jaxs got in his face.

"So your a cop" Half sac asked. everyone stopped fussing and looked at me.

"No, im not" I asid

"That makes no sense" clay said.

"Something happened back home and I was taken by the police. For me to get what I wanted I had to do what they wanted" I said

"So they used you"Jax asked. I didn't answer.

"We cant trust her" Clay said

"shut up"jax said. jax walked ove to me in the chair.

"What happened for you to be put in this situation?" Jax asked. I looked down

"jax, I really don't want to talk about it. Can you just trust me. I know its asking a lot considering the circumstances but I turst you and I believe you would kepp me safe." I said with hope in my eyes.

"Please tell me youll take care of me and wont make me back to stahl" I said about to start crying. he stood up and walked behind me. Panic washed through me. until I felt release on my wrists and ankles. He untied me. I stayed sitting. He came back around and took my hand lifting me un to stand.

"I will keep you safe, but trusting you again will take a while. Lets get you back to the club house so you can rest. Its been along day" Jax said pulling me close slowly walking out of the barn towards the van. seeing the bright sun almost blinded me. I stopped before he could open the back of the van.

"Jax, I...I cant sit back there... Can I sit in the front?" I asked cuddling up to his chest.

"Of course sweetheart" He said leading me to the front seat.