(Hey in 23 or 24 she had baby girl Omir, I was called out for it so I had to go back a reread it tooo lol)
Working and trying to save , I wanted to be great for my kids.
Chad was in training now so he wasn't in town .
Before he left we had a very serious conversation and I told him I wasn't ready to settle down and he left very upset.
I told him I didn't care about him seeing other people and he shouldn't care about me seeing other people and he wasn't happy with that at all.
We haven't talked in two weeks and I was missing him so I sent him a text this morning and he's been texting me back all day.
I woke up a few days ago to flowers and gifts at my door and I just cried because he's so sweet but I'm so afraid of being hurt I keep fighting the feelings but I couldn't help but love him back.
I then went on his ig and his profile picture is still us . Omg 😳 it was so cute but was I ready for the world to harass and judge me?
Leaving work, I thought a lot.
Now that Life is back in his kids life he wanted them all the time so we agreed that he got them half the year and I got them the other half but it wouldn't work because of Ammar's school schedule so somehow he convinced me to let him get them the school year and I could come visit as please and I get them all the holidays and all the breaks .
I was sick when they left and I felt like he manipulated me by telling me that their his kids and I took them from him and he wanted all his kids and I shouldn't be selfish and all type of shit . It's like this nigga was putting fear in my heart and mind still so when he said what he said I went for it and now I'm sad as fuck .
I don't have my kids nor do I have Chad .
Getting a FaceTime from Ammar, yes I finally got her a phone because I needed to see them all the time.
Turning the camera off because I had started crying because I missed them so much.
Mommy you home? Why you turn the camera off? Ammar
Oh babè mommy driving , how was school today? Me
Good mommy , we made dinner with daddy and now we are eating marshmallows and watching movies . Ammar
Aww where is Omir and Life? Me
Putting the camera on them, their laying on their daddy with his other two little girls by Iesha.
That shit blew me but what did I expect? Life did what the fuck he wanted.
Speaking to everyone , everyone even Life spoke back.
Chatting with my oldest she showed me her room and the kids room, he moved to this bigger house, it was very nice and they had a pool that Ammar said they wasn't able to get in until daddy unlocked the door , she said daddy had a code for the door and that was smart being he had little babies .
After telling them good night I was home and ready to shower.
Chad what are you doing here?
Looking at Chad as he sat in my kitchen in the dark.
I'm blowed, like he is supposed to be in training , so why is he here?
Chad
I want you to stop hiding the fact that you love me. Stop playing with my heart ❤️, why would you not want me? I asked her as she's looking at me crazy.
Yeah I had a key and she had a key to my house and to my heart and she ain't using either one of them the correct way.
Just looking at me she was so unreadable and I hated it .
I heard the agreement her and dude had with the kids and I was so upset, like that shit was stupid to me but I didn't say anything .
She cried to me before she did it and I wanted to tell her not to do it but I cannot control anything to do with her kids and their daddy and Ammar was so excited about doing it .
It was cute because Ammar FaceTime me everyday since they left , shit her kids loved me more than she did.
I'm going to shower, she says .
Watching her walk into her bedroom, she just keeps running from a nigga who wanted to do right by her.
See I knew Tala back in middle school , she was always very pretty and she had very nice skin to me.
I knew then I wanted her but like I said she was really quiet and wouldn't even speak , I really didn't notice she didn't have nothing . Like yeah I knew she stayed in the projects and I knew she didn't rock the best of the best but she was always clean .
See my birth momma got killed when I was 2 months by my daddy so I didn't have parents but my auntie Shalonda and my uncle Bo raised me and my brother . My uncle was a police officer and my auntie was a school teacher so we had a great life , they couldn't have kids so it was only us and they did damn good with us.
My uncle taught me everything and he pushed me to be the best and that's why I made sure with my first check I brought them a home and they will never have to work again.
My uncle is my hero and I love him for that.
Both him and my auntie be at all my games .
Removing her clothes for her , we just looked each other in the eyes.
I needed her and I wish she needed me .
8:30 am
Waking up to her laying under me, it was beautiful and of course I loved everything about her .
Grabbing my phone off her nightstand, I knew I had missed calls .
I was in training but we was able to leave for a break for a few days . So I came straight to her.
Calling my uncle back, he knew all about Tala and he felt she was beautiful but he told me I was taking on a lot trying to be with someone with 3 kids . But he also said if it was true love then it would happened and my auntie told me not to chase her and I tried not to but I just cannot stop thinking about her.
Talking to my uncle, he knew my location and everything . Feeling her move, she turn to face me . Her eyes still close so I knew she was still sleeping. Looking at her pretty face as she sleeps, she was everything .
Tala was very beautiful, she had the most gorgeous smile and her skin was beautiful. I looked the thickness of her body, she was my dream girl.
I remember her questioning if I really liked black girls because my ex wasn't black.
It was an interesting question but I answered it. Sarah and me got together because of a friend , we had one son and we divorce the same year because we just wasn't for each other .
But we stayed very good friends and coparent great.
My son was 7 and I loved him so much .
