You're my dearest lie || Miraculous Adult

Chapter 8

Into it - Chase Atlantic

Adrien

I was showering in the next room when the gorilla picked me up again fifteen minutes later. Just like every other day. Actually, the days didn't differ, because I could hardly remember what had happened yesterday. Or the day before yesterday.

Or the day before.

Over time, I had accepted living in an endless loop, and that was okay. Okay, as long as I didn't question it.

As soon as I walked into my room, my posture straightened as if the hanger was still on my shirt; I headed straight for my nightstand.

Cautiously, I opened the small drawer and lifted out the false bottom. I felt Plagg's critical gaze on the back of my neck but made no move not to pull out the small package.

With a quick glance sideways at the clock on the wall, my posture stiffened.

07:05 pm.

Soak time was about sixty minutes.

If dinner took less than an hour, it was actually much too early to go to sleep. Especially since that wouldn't make sense on a full stomach either.

I grinned bitterly.

What was I worried about, my servings were so perfected for the sake of calorie content that this wouldn't negatively affect my sleep. At least it wouldn't make a difference anymore.

Determined, I pulled out a strip, and tore open several sheets of the aluminium foil.

"Adrien, you should be very careful..."

Unmoved, I took out the white pills and tried to swallow them.

I quickly had to suppress a gag reflex and wiped the back of my hand over my mouth in disgust.

Challengingly, I raised an eyebrow as I turned to Plagg. He looked at me in depth, opened his mouth, but closed it again.

All for the better.

At dinner, Nathalie still seemed on edge about this morning, but that was fine. She read me tomorrow's schedule, which I could already speak in sync with. But I didn't because I didn't want to send her to the emergency room with her heart condition on top of it. It just wouldn't be of any use.

Tomorrow I had another shoot coming up, as usual on weekends. But that would go by as quickly as every single day. Sometimes I thought my life was playing out in fast motion because it was nighttime again so quickly. I would just watch time speed by until the day came to its end. That was the only thing I was afraid of.

As I walked through my bedroom door, I definitely felt woozy.

My head felt slightly numb, yet I could still think clearly, and see everything around me in sharp focus.

I was not yet dizzy enough.

Checking, I glanced at the clock.

08:13 pm.

Usually, it was enough if I went to sleep two hours later. Usually.

It was sheer overload for me to deal with time buffers. A period of time that was not planned out.

In which I wasn't distracted and was alone with myself....

Resolutely, I turned around, giving Plagg a meaningful look as he sat tensely on my desk.

"Plagg?", I said firmly, when my kwami hesitated.

I tried hard to sound authoritative and suppressed the tremor in my voice.

No wonder, I demanded a lot from him, too. But there was no other way when Juliette had no time on nights like these.

He flew towards me hesitantly, his expression spoke volumes, but I tried to ignore it. At the same time, I had used it much less frequently in the last few months.

He had always been at my side after the regular attacks of Hawk Moth, but for quite some time he stayed in my room when I needed to leave. I was still convinced that Hawk Moth would never return. And until now there had not been an emergency where I had needed Plagg. It was just so much harder to keep him hidden when my bag wasn't in close proximity.

I gave him a piercing look, to which he nodded in surrender.

I had no idea what was bothering him so much. The effort for him, the sight of me afterwards....

In any case, it was not that important. What was important was that now the effect of the pills accelerated.

Plagg transformed me and I jumped out of the open window. It was almost completely dark already, only at the horizon I could still see the red-coloured night sky.

Last act.

I reached out with the staff and maneuvered to the next roof.

I realized with frustration that the slight dizziness hadn't affected my sense of balance in the slightest.

I whirled around to find a suitable, straighter route. Preferably next to a main street with not much distance between the houses, so I could jump over them. The hair on the back of my neck spiked.

I sucked in some deep breaths and took a few steps back before running. My muscles clenched pleasantly as I sped up my run to jump to the next rooftop. All I was aware of was the chilly air brushing the sweat on my forehead and the mild burning sensation in my chest each time just before I inhaled.

I twisted my mouth into a smile, exhausted, as the pain rose, and my pulse felt like it increased to double speed.

I was addicted to it. Addicted to those moments when I felt something. In which I felt every fibre of my body.

Whether it was sex, cold showers, or physical exercise to the limit. Those moments when you couldn't even breathe from euphoria. I knew that if I had more freedom, I would have dropped dead as a drug junkie a long time ago.

Panting, I threw myself onto the last flat roof, causing my chest to tighten with a sting.

Suddenly I had to cough so hard that I had to brace myself against the nearest ventilation box and writhed.

My vision blurred a little, but in the dim darkness I recognized several drops of dark red at my feet.

The smell of iron immediately rose to my nose, but I ran my forearm over my lips, unfazed.

That was okay.

After all, this was just the first part.

I gritted my teeth stubbornly, pushed myself off the vent, and turned back to the route I had taken.

How far away from the property was I? Three, four miles?

The blazing pain was a strange combination to my numbed head. As if it were wrapped in cotton wool, while my body burned miserably on a burning stake.

Yet without hesitation I set off, speeding back the same distance without pause.

I knew Plagg didn't think much of it. Especially since, according to him, it was super dangerous when my reaction slowed down due to the pills and my sense of time and space dissolved more and more.

But that was not the problem. My body often didn't keep up with that due to exhaustion, which often caused me to pass out for a while, tearing muscle fibres or just throwing up without further ado.

Plagg even had to reanimate me once, because otherwise I might not have woken up from dehydration.

But that was okay, I was perfectly willing to put up with it.

All this, just so that I could fall asleep in seconds without having to think a single thought that might bring me back to reality....